Application for Philip J. Fry
Jan. 20th, 2007 03:19 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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Fry rubs his forehead and takes stock of his surroundings, trying to remember if it’s normal that he has no idea how he got here.
“What is this, some kind of Disneyland planet?” He doesn’t see Leela or Bender or the Planet Express ship anywhere. “Guys?” Leaving him alone on a Disneyland planet is so not funny.
Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
Fry jumps, but he definitely doesn’t scream when Mickey Mouse starts talking to him. “Uh, it’s Fry.” He eyes it suspiciously and takes a step back.
"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
Oh, great, another one. What the hell is going on? “I don’t know,” he says defensively. “To deliver stuff?”
"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to
give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
These questions are hard. “This seems like the kind of thing that’s usually a trick question and then something bad happens and I learn a valuable lesson.” He pauses. “So I wish for a really cool job and a hot girlfriend and to be good at everything. And for the second question I guess it would be okay as long as he wasn’t trying to get better stuff than what I wished for.”
Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
“Uh—I’m a brilliant war strategist.” Well, he played a lot of video games. “And I once was the emperor of an entire planet. So you should probably just give me food in hopes that I don’t turn on you.” It kinda seemed like they were buying it by the way nobody tried to contradict him, but it was hard to tell since no one seemed to be responding specifically to any of his answers. But he didn’t really feel like volunteering to be a delivery boy, and there was no way this could hurt in the long run. No way at all.
The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
They’d bought it so much they were now offering him chocolate to placate him? Clearly he was a genius. “Milk chocolate’s fine. But actually, I’d really like some beer.”
"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
Fry doesn’t seem particularly bothered by this question or the way his request for beer was seemingly ignored. “I dunno, I always liked robot sci fi movies best when I was younger, but where I come from now they’re kind of everywhere. But I guess the cool ones with laser blasters and time traveling and stuff are still pretty awesome, so I choose robots. And ninjas are pretty good, too. Hey, why hasn’t anyone ever made a movie about robot ninjas? Wouldn’t that be a great movie? It could have vampires, too, I guess.”
"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
Wait, what did that mean? Did he need a sharp thing for his safety, or was he not supposed to have any sharp things? Why did people in the future always have to make everything so confusing? “Well,” he said, “whichever one you think I should be saying? You were right.” There. That should do it. He was really on top of it today.
((Fry is from Futurama, specifically sometime in the last season. Frankly it doesn't really matter where XD))
“What is this, some kind of Disneyland planet?” He doesn’t see Leela or Bender or the Planet Express ship anywhere. “Guys?” Leaving him alone on a Disneyland planet is so not funny.
Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
Fry jumps, but he definitely doesn’t scream when Mickey Mouse starts talking to him. “Uh, it’s Fry.” He eyes it suspiciously and takes a step back.
"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
Oh, great, another one. What the hell is going on? “I don’t know,” he says defensively. “To deliver stuff?”
"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to
give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
These questions are hard. “This seems like the kind of thing that’s usually a trick question and then something bad happens and I learn a valuable lesson.” He pauses. “So I wish for a really cool job and a hot girlfriend and to be good at everything. And for the second question I guess it would be okay as long as he wasn’t trying to get better stuff than what I wished for.”
Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
“Uh—I’m a brilliant war strategist.” Well, he played a lot of video games. “And I once was the emperor of an entire planet. So you should probably just give me food in hopes that I don’t turn on you.” It kinda seemed like they were buying it by the way nobody tried to contradict him, but it was hard to tell since no one seemed to be responding specifically to any of his answers. But he didn’t really feel like volunteering to be a delivery boy, and there was no way this could hurt in the long run. No way at all.
The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
They’d bought it so much they were now offering him chocolate to placate him? Clearly he was a genius. “Milk chocolate’s fine. But actually, I’d really like some beer.”
"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
Fry doesn’t seem particularly bothered by this question or the way his request for beer was seemingly ignored. “I dunno, I always liked robot sci fi movies best when I was younger, but where I come from now they’re kind of everywhere. But I guess the cool ones with laser blasters and time traveling and stuff are still pretty awesome, so I choose robots. And ninjas are pretty good, too. Hey, why hasn’t anyone ever made a movie about robot ninjas? Wouldn’t that be a great movie? It could have vampires, too, I guess.”
"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
Wait, what did that mean? Did he need a sharp thing for his safety, or was he not supposed to have any sharp things? Why did people in the future always have to make everything so confusing? “Well,” he said, “whichever one you think I should be saying? You were right.” There. That should do it. He was really on top of it today.
((Fry is from Futurama, specifically sometime in the last season. Frankly it doesn't really matter where XD))
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Date: 2007-01-21 01:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 01:46 am (UTC)Of course, some of his excitement abates when it becomes clear Han doesn't believe he was really the emperor of a planet. Which is unfair, because he really was. "Yes," insists Fry. "I was. But I quit because the job was getting kind of boring-slash-dangerous."
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Date: 2007-01-21 02:05 am (UTC)Then Han raises an eyebrow skeptically. "You did?" he says. "Just like that? What did you do, tell all your subjects, 'It's been fun, but now I'm done being emperor so you guys are on your own.'?"
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Date: 2007-01-21 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 08:15 pm (UTC)Also, his name isn't Fry-kun. "It's...nice to meet you," he said cooly, attempting to project heterosexuality. "It seems interesting."
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Date: 2007-01-21 08:24 pm (UTC)And with the air of a game show host awarding the star prize, "You're right, too. Ninjas are the best. Especially Kuro-puu." He claps. "You'll like him. He's the best ninja in his country. He got sent away, though. That was probably just for being so good." He giggles.
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Date: 2007-01-21 08:33 pm (UTC)Fry had really more been talking about robot ninjas possibly fighting vampires, but now he's certain he doesn't want to meet this 'Kuro-puu' or any of his deranged gay fanboys.
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Date: 2007-01-21 08:39 pm (UTC)"There's one here you can't have," he says, drawing himself up to his full height and not smiling quite as much. "If you see a young girl named Chii, you are not to try anything." He gives Fry a bright, slightly dangerous, grin. "Okay, Fry-kun?"
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Date: 2007-01-21 11:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 12:09 am (UTC)"Well, hey there, little guy!" he replies. "What do you do?" Please be a snack-getting robot, please be a snack getting robot...
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Date: 2007-01-22 05:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 05:37 pm (UTC)"So, like, what the hell is this place?"
((Just a note for those unfamiliar with the canon, but in Futurama the robots run on alcohol))
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Date: 2007-01-22 05:49 pm (UTC)((*dies* I did not actually know that, as I've only seen about ... 10 eps of Futurama in my life. I encourage any and all robot-based misunderstandings Fry might have with regard to Skaffen-Amtiskaw, by the way. ^_^))
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Date: 2007-01-22 06:45 pm (UTC)"Hello, gorgeous. What brings you to a place like this?"
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Date: 2007-01-22 07:19 pm (UTC)Well, he wasn't officially a pilot, but Leela had taught him how to fly the ship and he wasn't completely bad at it. "I'm Fry, by the way,"
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Date: 2007-01-24 04:02 am (UTC)The rest of the park didn't really look futurey. They even had old fashioned turn-styles.
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Date: 2007-01-24 07:32 am (UTC)((And don't forget to update your contact info (http://community.livejournal.com/dizzy_backstage/1307.html)! :D))