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[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

[It's the middle of the night, when, over the loudspeakers, quite loudly, blasts the Numa Numa song. The entire show is needlessly loud]


Hey guys! Good evening. This is the great DJ Katou, once again blessing you guys with the sound of his own voice.

Listen, I'd like to issue a formal apology for apparently pissing people off with my last radio show. You know, if you're like say, Aphrodite or Virgil, they you just like shitty music, and in Aphrodite's case, I mean really, really shitty music, and it was wrong of me to discriminate against some of you like that.

So, I'd like to offer my formal apologies with the following show.



So, this one is for my buddy Virgil, because, like the little pussy he is, he likes the Backstreet Boys. Viril, Quit playing games with my heart.

And hey, while we're listening to Backstreet Boys, we might as well play one of their singers gone solo. Here's Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back.

It looks like The S Club 7 have Never Had A Dream Come True. Which is kind of sad, since they're such a ... talented... group of young people.

Shakira thinks that Hips Don't Lie. I'd hate to break it to her, but that's just untrue. Like, when you see a girl with a really slamming body, with nice wide hips, and you think she'll be a great fuck? Yeah, not so true.

I had a talk with my good buddy Tamaki Suou about some songs to play on my radio show. He had a whole slew of them, but for... certain reasons, I chose not to play a whole bunch of them. I've got a few, but not all of them. The first one I'd like to play is Aqua's Barbie Girl. I'd like to dedicate that to Jenny, because man, would I love to undress her anywhere. [You can pratically hear the cheesy wink and the teasing smirk in his voice]

Well, like I mentioned above, I'm really sorry for not playing that porn-show of a song for Aphrodite last time, despite how much it sucked. So, now I'd like to play another porn-show of a song that does, litterally, suck, by some guy named M&Ms. Here's Ken Kaniff [OOC Note: It's kinda gross. And not completely SFW.]

It's Raining Blood in Slayer world. No one has dedicated or played an super shitty death metal or whatever this is supposed to be so far, but I'm sure with the other crap you guys've played, someone out there must like it.

In a change, I'd like to play Untitled by Simple Plan. Trust me, if you listen to this, it's best just to do what your idols tell you, and slit your wrists. I mean, not that it's bad music by any means, just that it's... I don't know where I'm going with that.

I'd like to take this time out of my show to mention that I am not being condesending to anyone's taste in music. Really. If I'm playing it, it means I was ... wrong in saying that it sucked. Even if it uh... uh...

I think this song is from some movie, but I have no idea what movie it is, and it's not something I'd normally... uh... touch with a sixteen foot pole, so here it is.

And for Pippi, who's so wanted to listen to some ABBA, I give her Voulez Vous.

[Teardrops on my Guitar plays by Taylor Swift]

So, now, for something from my own country, because as everyone should know, my country is hardly exempt from... uhm... my radio show. AOAO is some techno shit, so enjoy it.

I'd like to dedicate Complicated to my good friend Kira, as I know he really likes the punk princess.


And that's the end of that show. I really hope that I've made amends to all of you who've I've pissed off with the last show, as that was completely my intention.

Any and all complaints can, and should, be forwarded to Kyouya Ootori.


[My Humps by Black Eyed Peas comes over the loud speaker. It will be on repeat, and the door to the radio room will be locked. Katou will be hanging around afterward for any calls, and any calls he gets, My Humps will be played in the background during.]

Comments

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

[congenially]

This may surprise you, but I'd really rather not have my name be associated with this. Particularly if you're going to continue to insult ladies with whom I have no quarrel.

[pause, and then slight change in tone]

Particularly if you're going to wake me up doing it.

[pleasant again]

I'd prefer you not bring Tamaki into it, either.

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

Really? I thought it was a great radio show, and everyone would love to have their name associated with it.

Anyway, I really did ask Tamaki for his taste in music to help me out, so really, I did nothing wrong.

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

You thought incorrectly.

I don't intend to listen to this music any longer at such an hour. I will ask you to turn it off and allow everyone to get some sleep.

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

This music in particular? Well, that's good, since it's only been playing for about five minutes now.

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

Katou. This isn't up for argument.

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

Fine, fine, whatever princess. Go get your beauty sleep.

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

Shut off the fucking music or I'll shut it off for you.

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

K-Dawg, chill out. I'll be turning it off eventually. It won't be going all night.

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

...

[dead air on the other end]

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

...

Good night, sweetie-pie! [Hangs up]

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

Wrong, Katou! About ten minutes later, you have a disheveled, sleepy Kyouya banging on the radio door.

"When I get back to Japan," he said in a low voice, "I will look up you and your friends and have you all deported to Siberia."

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

Aw fuck. Luckily enough, Katou had received Cayce's letter, so he was getting ready to turn off the radio anyway. He hit the stop button, then headed to the door, opened it, and paused when he got a good look at Kyouya. He was good-looking normally, but Jesus H. Christ, did he look downright sexy right now.

"Uh," he said, trying not to stare. He adverted his gaze to the floor. "Uhm... come in."

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

Kyouya crossed his arms. "I will do no such thing. Never do that again. I don't care what practical jokes you wish to play on the park, but you will not implicate me and Tamaki in anything untoward, you will not interrupt my sleep, and you will stop when I tell you to. Do you understand?"

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he said, nodding, "I understand. Listen, you really should come in. It looks like you could use a massage or something. Calm your nerves."

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

"What." That response really made no sense, except that he knew he was really tense when he hadn't slept. At the same time, he probably should have left, but he was curious (and did sort of want a massage, if it could actually be trusted, especially since he couldn't get one from Tamaki lately). "Doesn't that arm get in the way of that?"

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

"Huh, this?" Katou flexed it. "No, of course not. It's just like a real hand. Only har -." Harder. Fuck. No, not harder. "Fir-" Not firmer. "Stronger."

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

"Huh. Well, I suppose you can if you want to," he shrugged, sitting down. "Don't do a poor job; my chiropractor isn't here to correct stupid mistakes."

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

"Wouldn't dream of it," Katou said. But maybe now he'd be dreaming of something other than the war.

Fuck. No. Kyouya was not his type. Not. His. Type. Sure, he was tall, and dark, and calm, just like the other boys that Katou was attracted to, but he... Oh god. Kyouya was his type.

He took Kyouya's shoulders, but after a minute or so, he said "Would you mind taking off your shirt?"

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

Kyouya raised an eyebrow. "Would that be necessary?" It was a good massage, but he didn't trust Katou further than he could threaten him.

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Katou said. "If you want a really good massage." And, without waiting for Kyouya to give him the okay, he began to unbutton Kyouya's shirt.

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

Tamaki never made Kyouya take off his shirt, but of course, when he had professional massages he usually did, so it wasn't that strange. He let Katou unbutton his shirt, but it had better be a very good massage.

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

Dear God, Kyouya had a nice body. It could easily rival Kira's. He tried, once again, to not stare, before he went back behind Kyouya and began to give him a massage. "How's this?"

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

Kyouya wasn't blind, and did notice Katou staring a bit. That was unexpected, but really unimportant. From Katou's behavior, he'd never gotten any impression Katou had any designs on him, so he didn't care if Katou checked him out as long as he remained professional.

"Fine," he said, relaxing into the massage. "Just a bit higher--" He knew he had a knot there, he was far too used to impromptu massages from Tamaki, who was surprisingly good at it. Or maybe he just felt less tense with Tamaki doing this than with Katou. Kyouya was still fairly stiff, since he really didn't relax easily.

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

"Here?" Katou asks, lightly moving his hands up. Oh Jesus, that is a knot. He began to massage it, leaning a little closer to Kyouya than is really necessary.

[yourshadowking.livejournal.com]

He flexed his shoulders. "Yeah. But..." It felt good, but much less so now that Katou was closer. He really didn't like invasions of his personal space. "I'm sure that's enough."