Notice on the bulletin board

[a-cruel-irony.livejournal.com]

HELP WANTED:

Leader of greatest empire on earth looking for an assistant. Must be able to lift heavy loads, clean secret labs without destroying glassware, avoid questioning orders, and enjoy roller coasters. Cooking and baking a plus. No experience necessary. Will train the right candidate. Preferably large, young, male, cute, and dumb as a brick. Good advancement opportunity. Contact Yzma.

Comments

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

I regret to inform you that most of the henchman-worthy candidates are currently in my employ, as my empire is bigger. Should they become less than useful, due to my unfortunate tendency to break things, I will gladly hand them over to you.

Warmest Regards,
The Master

[a-cruel-irony.livejournal.com]

As someone has already been kind enough to point out, everyone thinks their empire is bigger. But I do not need your cast-offs, thank you.

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

Everyone does think so. I have the fulfilling comfort of knowing. You have the greatest empire on the Earth. I have one encompassing all of it and the moon. Don't worry, it's in your future. Not your fault.

Still, I sympathise. Should you need to vent, feel free to come by for tea.

Are you sure you wouldn't consider the cast-offs? They'll feel so lonely without someone performing tests on them.

[a-cruel-irony.livejournal.com]

So kind of you. I will certainly consider it.