Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question?

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

Calvin wasn't exactly sure what was going on with the poll on the message board (although he and Hobbes had a spirited debate about whether Hobbes could write himself in as a contestant) but its appearance reminded him that he had his own survey to conduct.

Accordingly, about half an hour later he was knocking on the door of the Toon Town Hall, wearing a backpack (with Hobbes' head poking out of the opening) and holding a clipboard.

Comments

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"Well, I didn't think so, and I told them it was non-refundable. 'Let the buyer beware,' you know? But then they started talking about destroying the planet, so Hobbes went and got our Christmas stockings and cut holes for their faces - they didn't have any arms, see - and let the aliens have them to keep warm." An afterthought: "Oh," pulling Hobbes out of his backpack, "this is Hobbes. He's a tiger. And a sucker, at times."

"What, you wanted the Earth to be destroyed? It's not like they were going to just target strategic areas like your school building."

"Well I don't see why you couldn't at least have used Mom and Dad's stockings!"

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

Yes, aliens did have that pesky little habit of trying to destroy the planet, he supposed. Well, Earth anyway. Even he couldn't quite make sense of that for the kid.

The Master's eyebrows shot up to his hairline at the mention of a stuffed tiger named 'Hobbes'. And then had to keep quiet as he wondered whether or not the name had been chosen in reference to the Hobbes that came to his own mind. Oh my. And it talked to the boy.

Brilliant.

"He has a point," the Master said, addressing the stuffed animal as though that were an entirely normal pastime. "It's not as though his parents would have missed their stockings, since adults tend to get boring Christmas presents anyway."

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

Hobbes was getting used to grownups who addressed him directly, at this point. "It's not like we didn't get all the presents anyway," he said. "Even down to the orange that would've been in the toe of the stocking."

"I didn't get a quarter of the things that were on my Christmas list!" protested Calvin.

"Do you seriously think Santa was planning on stuffing your stocking with a grenade launcher?"

"He might have been! How do I know what goes through that twisted old elf's mind? Maybe he was offended by the lack of a stocking and put the grenade launcher back in the sack! We'll never know, and just because all you asked for was canned tuna..."

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

The Master tipped his head from side to side, considering. "Well, if you have the right materials, you could just make a grenade launcher on your own. Or make something more suited to your purposes; what exactly were you planning on using the launcher for? Or against, I should say?"

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"Oh, a few different targets. My babysitter. The school. You know."

"Could I make my own? What kind of materials do you need for that? I've tried checking the library for schematics, but they don't seem to have many how-to books on constructing heavy weaponry." Calvin looked discouraged. "Not that there's much point around here, since everything just goes back to the way it was. Although seeing things smash or blow up never really gets old..."

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"Admirable," he said, with no hint of humor –though there was a lot, Rassilon was there a–.

"Well, to make a grenade all you really need is sheet metal, black powder, some broken glass and nail fragments, and then something to make a wick. To make the launcher, you usually want to mount it on a rifle, easiest way to do it. Of course, when I want to blow things up...." he pulled something silver and gold out of his pocket and pressed a button, causing it to lengthen (with a little 'unsheathing' sound that he had added in himself for dramatic purposes).

He pointed to the nearest foliage and fired. There was a nice gaping hole in it a moment later. "I do that."

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Calvin's reaction was all that could possibly be asked for in terms of enthusiasm: his eyes widened to saucer-width as the gold and silver thingamabob was used, stared for a moment, and then began bouncing up and down with appreciation. "That's awesome! How'd you do that? What is that? Can I try?"

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

He handed the shiny metal object over to the smart boy. "It's a laser screwdriver, actually. Has hundreds of uses, or maybe thousands, I can never quite remember.... Unfortunately, the controls are isomorphic - meaning they're directly linked to me - so no one else can use it. Troublesome thing to do, but if I don't, people steal it all the time and wreck havoc on my own plans, and there's absolutely no fun in that." And it would take a long time to alter the controls for general use, really. Otherwise he would have gladly let the child try his hand at it.

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

The laser screwdriver was turned around and peered reverently, and despite being warned he wouldn't be able to use it he still attempted to fiddle with the controls. Because really, how could you not?

"What else can it do? I mean, not a full list," he corrected hastily (you never knew with aliens, he might try to recite all several hundred/thousand uses, and there was no way Calvin's attention span was that long), "but the top three coolest or more useful things? And where'd you get it?"

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

The boy was very perceptive about aliens. While the Master wouldn't have gone through the whole list, it still would have been quite a long one before he remembered to stop. Three was a nice, small number.

"Made it," he said in a 'blah' tone of voice, meant to give off an impression of oh-it's-no-big-deal-I-do-that-sort-of-thing-all-the-time (which would have been eyeroll worthy were it not true). "It heats liquids in seconds, if you're looking for useful. Very nice when you walk away from the table a minute and the cocoa's gone cold. The laser beam can cut through nearly all types of metal easy as warm butter on the right setting. And it allows me to age people, backwards or forwards at will. Particularly useful when you want your enemies indisposed."

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

Well, he'd had a fair amount of experience with them, for a six year old. In his own mind, anyway, and depending on your choice of reality.

"Cool! So you're an inventor? So am I! And...really, you can age people? So does that mean you could..."

"No," said Hobbes firmly.

"I hadn't even finished the sentence!"

"It's still 'NO.'"

((Repost to add that mun finds the idea of the Master using his screwdriver to reheat cocoa utterly hilarious. XD))

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

Most of his people were inventors of one kind of another. But that wasn't really a discussion that needed to be had, for any number of reasons.

He didn't have to hear the finished sentence, naturally. He smiled, taking off one thick glove and scratching the back of his head. "I should say, it's really excruciatingly painful to have done. Really a lot. And I'd need your biological code before I could do it, meaning I'd need a DNA sample."

((^_^ You know he zaps his mug during long nights tinkering. Although it makes the cocoa really freakin' hot, and he forgets sometimes, and he hates burning his tongue. ;D))

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"People do not ask for a copy of your DNA for good reasons leading to hugs and peanut butter cups," insisted Hobbes. "I know you've read all the same comic books I have."

"Oh, why do you have to be so negative about everything?"

"What part of 'excruciatingly painful' did you not understand?"

"Well, I guess I should at least finish my survey first. I haven't even canvassed anyone but Logan in Toon Town yet." Calvin looked up at the cool inventor alien guy. "You never answered the demographic question, did you?"