Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question?

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

Calvin wasn't exactly sure what was going on with the poll on the message board (although he and Hobbes had a spirited debate about whether Hobbes could write himself in as a contestant) but its appearance reminded him that he had his own survey to conduct.

Accordingly, about half an hour later he was knocking on the door of the Toon Town Hall, wearing a backpack (with Hobbes' head poking out of the opening) and holding a clipboard.

Comments

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

There was some clanking coming from inside, and what sounded suspiciously like a curse (or three), before the door was finally opened to reveal the Master. He was wearing thick canvas gloves that were covered in some kind of oil and grime (which magically had not appeared on his white shirt at all), and holding a tool that looked like a cross between a blowtorch and a can opener. A pair of goggles rested across his eyes, but they were soon pushed up on his head once he realized that he was going to have quite a lot of blinking to do.

He stared at the child and his clipboard for a few seconds. Then, in his most irritated tone (the one that pitched his voice higher), he snapped out the word, "Yes?"

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"Hi!" said Calvin, gazing interestedly at the blowtorch/can opener. "I'm conducting a survey for the Disneyland News regarding my upcoming attempt to take over the park. First, for demographic purposes," (and because Kira had told him to be sure to ask embarrassing personal questions) "would you say that you pick your nose 'occasionally,' 'sometimes,' 'frequently,' or 'incessantly'?"

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

The Master had every intention of answering this child's questions with a lot of cynicism and that special brand of joy-killing that made the kiddies run home crying about their now-shattered belief in Glinda the Good Witch. There was just one problem - it was a child who was plotting to take over his current environment, starting first with a door-to-door demographic survey?

Something was eerily familiar.

He tilted his head at the boy, taking more time to consider him. Ignoring the question –which is really very funny to boot–, he felt the need to point out, "You know, telling everyone that you're planning on taking over the park is not necessarily the best way of going about it."

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"How do you know that isn't all part of my plan?" asked Calvin reasonably. "I mean, maybe it hinges on all the adults in the park being prepared for exactly the wrong contingency? Or maybe when you're opening your door to me, bajillions of nanorobots under my control are rushing into the atmosphere of your home?"

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

The Master tries very –very very very– hard not to smile. He nods somberly. "I stand corrected. Well, except on the part of the nanorobots. I'd be pretty damn sure if they were about, so I'll have to call you a liar on that one."

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"I'm not a liar!" said Calvin indignantly.

Hobbes snorted.

"That was a hypothetical example, which doesn't count as lying! Assuming it was in fact false, I mean, and I don't see how you'd know if nanorobots were coming in, unless you have some kind of device for monitoring their potential presence!" He paused a second, then added, "Do you? Because that would be really cool."

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

The Master shrugged noncommittally. "That, and I'm an alien with a fairly unique understanding of nanotechnology." He turned the tool over in his hands, waiting for the reaction to that one. Somehow he didn't think it was going to be a problem....

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"Well, that's a somewhat unsettling coincidence," commented Hobbes.

Calvin ignored his friend and asked, excited, "Really? Your disguise is excellent, and your voice isn't metallic at all!*" And then a thought occurred, and he looked a little bit shifty. "You haven't, uh, heard anything about leaves and the Supreme Earth Potentate, have you?"


* ((See Heeryor lunboks. Hoffa gut tay askool. (http://progressiveboink.com/archive/calvinhobbes.htm), 3/4ths of the way down the page.))

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

The Master twisted his lips and looked up as high as he could, like he was attempting to turn his eyes inside his skull and have a look that way. "Mm, nope. Can't say I've heard of a Supreme Earth Anything, in fact." Seemed likely that the boy read a lot of comics or watched too much tele. Or maybe his imagination was just that brilliant. "Do all robots have metallic voices where you come from?"

((Haha. Cute robotic aliens. ^_^))

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

Try 'all of the above.' "Oh, no, not all of them, just this one shapeshifter alien I met once who assumed my form and repeated everything I said. But Galaxoid and Nebular didn't."

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"What did Galaxoid and Nebular do?" he asked, shaking his head in a fascinated manner –shapeshifter sounds very nearly like that holographic interface you and the other made in your fifth year at the–. He leaned against the door, all thoughts of slamming it in the boy's face forgotten.

((And then I switched the word 'alien' for 'robot' in the last post. >.< Because that's how far gone my brain happens to be tonight. XD))

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"Well, see, at the time, I was working on this school project that was due the next day where we were supposed to collect 50 different kinds of leaves and then mount and label them with their scientific names - can you imagine anything more stultifyingly boring? And my Mom had just refused to take me to the arboreteum just because it was nearly sunset. So then this spacecraft landed, and these aliens asked to talk to the Supreme Earth Potentate, because they were looking into purchasing the Earth as a fixer-upper - apparently we're well-located - so I...uh...you're not going to tell my parents about this, are you? Or Susan?"

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

He listened intently –making a mental note to save the word 'stultifyingly', as it was hitting his giggle circuit better than anything had in the past few days (as far as he could tell, what with Time being)–, agreeing in all the appropriate places.

Then there's a snort at the comment of using the Earth as a fixer-upper, and then he muttered, "Well, you are," to well-located point, before watching the boy halt with a question. Oh, that was achingly familiar, for many more reasons than one, in fact. –How many times did you say, "They don't have to know," to him? To each other?–

He shook his head 'no' saying, "Cross both hearts," which he did, "never die," which he nearly didn't, "stick this cortex fusion graphter in my eye," and he spun the blowtorch/can opener between his fingers - not an easy feat in gloves like that.

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

It was dearly amusing that the tiger was the voice of reason for all of this. And also illuminating to an extent.

The Master waved his hand dismissively. "Why don't you just pick an answer for me that skews the results as you'd rather have them?" Wait. He hadn't seen anyone besides Logan? "Who's your next stop in Toon Town?"

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"Well, that's how I usually perform polls, but I was actually wondering about a few of these things," Calvin explained, then consulted the clipboard. "Um. The Doctor? I've met him before, he's an alien too. Do you know where he lives around here?"

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

The Master tried his hardest not to jump up and down, like a kid who'd had the equivalent of Pixie Stix injected directly into his veins. "I do," he said. "In fact, just hang on a tick - I can show you where he is. I have to visit him today, anyhow."

Which was a total lie. He had been looking forward to spending the entire day without the Doctor in his hair, actually. This was simply too good to pass up. He darted inside, throwing off the gloves and goggles. Slinging his jacket over his shoulder, he returned to the door. "He's over in the blue police box in front of Goofy's Bounce House."

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"Oh, okay, thanks," said Calvin, a little surprised. Adults other than his parents (or parental substitutes, here) didn't usually go out of their way to accompany him.

"That's actually a time machine!" he told the Master when the blue box was mentioned. "He told me so when he arrived. I have a time machine, too! I invented it." All this was relayed while dashing off at full speed, then turning around to trot backwards a few steps, then dashing off again, backpack bouncing all the while.

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"I know, I've used it," he said in regards to the time machine, watching the boy run back and forth, and idly wondering if Hobbes ever got motion sickness. "And I've had more than one of my own when the occasion called for it. What was yours made of?"

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

Not from this sort of thing. This was just standard Calvinist movement. Really, Hobbes needed to have eaten a large meal and then be presented with imminent death to start feeling nauseous; Calvin had a strong stomach for a little kid.

"Corrugated cardboard," said the boy without a hint of irony.

"And belief," said Hobbes.

"...And belief, according to Susan. Susan's my governess here. That means she looks after me." Not without pride, he added, "I take a lot of looking after."

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"Good materials," he replied - no irony there either. Well, it wasn't as though he had always had access to the proper technology either. Imagination was always essential.

He hadn't met Susan yet, but he was a bit surprised at the fact that someone had taken it on herself to care for the boy in this place. "All good pupils usually do," he said of needing to be looked after. He reached the TARDIS door and rapped on it, leaning against the paneling. "Oh, Doctor!"

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

There was a very long pause, and finally the door swung open and the Doctor’s head stuck out.

“What, yes, hi,” he said, sounding just a bit flustered.

So many people came knocking on the TARDIS all the time that the Doctor had eventually decided to add onto his rigged interior-exterior auditory link system to make a sort-of doorbell feature that gave him a little chime in whatever room he happened to be in when people came calling. –it was all terribly domestic, and the Doctor was actually in the TARDIS less as a result; but there it was, perils of the slower path and all that– Sometimes they came around when was rather far away from the console room working with volatile chemicals.

“Oh,” he added sullenly when he saw the Master. “It’s you. And Calvin!” Brighter, with a smile. “Hello!” He gave the Master a very suspicious glare upon finding him in company a small child.

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"And Hobbes."

"And Hobbes. Hi!" said Calvin. "I'm conducting a survey for the Disneyland News regarding my upcoming attempt to take over the park. And he," indicating the Master, "came to show me the way."

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

“And Hobbes. Hello!” the Doctor said to the tiger, giving him a little wave. “Did he now? That was very philanthropic of him. Clearly he has both our best interests at heart. May I ask why you plan to take over the park, or is that information secret?”

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"The boy has the mark of genius about him, and you ask 'why'. How typical." The Master snorted, even more amused at the Doctor's suspicions. Did the Doctor think he could corrupt the children that quickly? Perhaps he should be flattered.

[irrepressible-c.livejournal.com]

"I do?" asked Calvin at the 'mark of genius' comment. He knew he was a genius, of course, but other people didn't generally seem to see it. He couldn't help preening a little.

"It looks kind of a lot like having a big fat mouth," said Hobbes. "'Why' is actually a pretty good question, or you'd think so considering how often you use it yourself."

"Yes, all right. Why? Um." The honest answer, actually, was that he'd seen 'In the Next Issue: Are Children Trying to Take Over the Park?' in the Disneyland News and been instantly inspired. This didn't seem sufficiently impressive, though. Especially not if he had the mark of genius. "Because the current administration is clearly corrupt and/or incompetent, and it's time for a change! Also, I've never taken over a theme park before and it sounds like fun!"