Application: Susan Sto Helit, Discworld

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

A tall, thin young woman appears in a puff of hot-pink smoke. Her hair, coiled in a rather prim bun, is white with a black streak through it; her eyes cold blue. She's sensibly dressed in a plain white blouse under a black jacket, long black skirt, and boots, and she looks rather schoolteacher-ish -- although instead of a ruler or pointer, she holds a cast-iron fireplace poker in her left hand. Her right hand is empty, which seems to startle her when she realises it.

She looks around hopefully, and immediately her face falls. "Oh hell. Hell. Now what?"

At the sight of Mickey and the Cat, she seems not so much astonished as deeply, deeply aggravated. She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs.

Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
"Susan Sto Helit."

"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
Susan narrows her eyes at the Cat, suspiciously. "Who wants to know?"

"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
She looks thoughtful for a minute. Then she laughs, humourlessly. "No, I don't think so. There'd be a trick; there always is. Wish someone alive again, they come back as a draggy re-animated corpse with a taste for brains. No thanks."

"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"I'd tell him to stop being an idiot and that he clearly didn't deserve any of the damn things."

Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
Susan rubs her forehead and looks very tired. "Revolution? Are you expecting one? Well, I'm a schoolteacher by profession. I'm good with children, and I've got a solid education."

And I can walk through walls, vanish, DO THAT VOICE, work outside and around time, oh, and save the universe if needed as well. Best not to bring that up now, though; who knows what these ... beings might do about it. And one never knew who might be listening. She doesn't mention the poker either, although she shifts it from left hand to right and holds it in a matter that suggests that she's had a lot of experience beating the hell out of things with it, or at least threatening to do so.

The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
She smiles, although it has to be noted that the smile really doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Dark, of course. And no bloody nougat centres, please."

"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"Someone once told me that 'ninja' was Agatean for 'the passing wind'," she says. "Some vampires are all right -- well, the Black Ribboners are, anyway -- and the Tooth Fairies tend to be good, hardworking girls. But for the two 'coolest' -- humans, because for all their stupidity and aggravation, they do manage to pull off some remarkable things. And bears, because as animals go, they're relatively sensible beasts."

"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
"Just this," she says, indicating the poker. Her seemingly amiable expression is not entirely pleasant. "It only kills monsters, mind you."


((Susan is taken from a few years after the end of The Thief of Time; before her arrival at Dizzy Land via an unfortunate magical accident, she spent a few months at Hogwarts in hogwarts_hocus.))

Comments

[alicereflection.livejournal.com]

Alice looks around pointedly. "I think we're going to be here for a long time," she says wryly. "I would like to hear the story, though," she adds truthfully. "If you like, I will reciprocate."

She blinks. And then she laughs.

"You have met both Death and Pestilence?" she says. She couldn't say why she finds this so funny. It's absurd, but not funny. However it feels like she hasn't laughed in years - an odd thing to feel, but feelings are odd things anyway. "I'm afraid I've had to make do with Queens and Boojums and Hatters."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"We should meet for tea once all this --" a gesture at Cat and Mouse, "-- is done. I'd be glad to tell you more."

She smiles; yes, when you look at it from a certain distance, there's definitely an element of absurdity to her family and its associates. "Er. What's a Boojum?"

[alicereflection.livejournal.com]

"That would be delightful," Alice says truthfully. "Speaking of which," she continues," where would you like to go? I discovered yesterday we can vote on the locations of new arrivals. Personally, I think you would do rather well on Main Street."

She rubs her forehead. "A Boojum. Well. When I saw them, they looked rather a lot like skulls in ill-fitting robes (http://www.noctalis.com/dis/alice/). Had the most awful screams. Terribly unpleasant."

She frowns slightly. "I so hope that's over now," she says, so quietly she could almost be talking to herself.

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry," Susan says. "I didn't mean to drag up bad memories." Quickly she adds, "Main Street sounds pleasant enough; I understand from Psyche that you and Mr Fell live there?"

[alicereflection.livejournal.com]

"The memories aren't so much unpleasant as... unsettling," says Alice carefully. "But do not worry, it is not your concern."

She isn't intending to be rude. Where she comes from, your problems are your own and you do not burden others.

"Main Street is as lovely as you can get here," Alice says. "Yes, I do live there with my guardian, above the fire station. You're quite welcome to visit!"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"I understand," and it's true; Susan, of all people, would. "Thanks for the invitation -- once all this is done, I'll certainly call as soon as I can."

[alicereflection.livejournal.com]

"I look forward to seeing you again," says Alice. She curtsies and waves once she's straightened up again. "I hope they place you somewhere satisfactory."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Thank you -- I hope so too."