Application: Susan Sto Helit, Discworld

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

A tall, thin young woman appears in a puff of hot-pink smoke. Her hair, coiled in a rather prim bun, is white with a black streak through it; her eyes cold blue. She's sensibly dressed in a plain white blouse under a black jacket, long black skirt, and boots, and she looks rather schoolteacher-ish -- although instead of a ruler or pointer, she holds a cast-iron fireplace poker in her left hand. Her right hand is empty, which seems to startle her when she realises it.

She looks around hopefully, and immediately her face falls. "Oh hell. Hell. Now what?"

At the sight of Mickey and the Cat, she seems not so much astonished as deeply, deeply aggravated. She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs.

Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
"Susan Sto Helit."

"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
Susan narrows her eyes at the Cat, suspiciously. "Who wants to know?"

"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
She looks thoughtful for a minute. Then she laughs, humourlessly. "No, I don't think so. There'd be a trick; there always is. Wish someone alive again, they come back as a draggy re-animated corpse with a taste for brains. No thanks."

"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"I'd tell him to stop being an idiot and that he clearly didn't deserve any of the damn things."

Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
Susan rubs her forehead and looks very tired. "Revolution? Are you expecting one? Well, I'm a schoolteacher by profession. I'm good with children, and I've got a solid education."

And I can walk through walls, vanish, DO THAT VOICE, work outside and around time, oh, and save the universe if needed as well. Best not to bring that up now, though; who knows what these ... beings might do about it. And one never knew who might be listening. She doesn't mention the poker either, although she shifts it from left hand to right and holds it in a matter that suggests that she's had a lot of experience beating the hell out of things with it, or at least threatening to do so.

The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
She smiles, although it has to be noted that the smile really doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Dark, of course. And no bloody nougat centres, please."

"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"Someone once told me that 'ninja' was Agatean for 'the passing wind'," she says. "Some vampires are all right -- well, the Black Ribboners are, anyway -- and the Tooth Fairies tend to be good, hardworking girls. But for the two 'coolest' -- humans, because for all their stupidity and aggravation, they do manage to pull off some remarkable things. And bears, because as animals go, they're relatively sensible beasts."

"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
"Just this," she says, indicating the poker. Her seemingly amiable expression is not entirely pleasant. "It only kills monsters, mind you."


((Susan is taken from a few years after the end of The Thief of Time; before her arrival at Dizzy Land via an unfortunate magical accident, she spent a few months at Hogwarts in hogwarts_hocus.))

Comments

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Not really," Setsuna answers uncertainly. "I think it depends on what you ask, but some of their responses are kinda odd. I guess that's to be expected, though. I mean, we are in a very strange place and they're talking animals."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Is there anything about this place that's not odd?" Susan says, a note of exasperation clearly audible in her voice. It's a slightly rhetorical question, but she really does wonder. "After this and the last place, the Discworld is starting to seem exceptionally ordinary."

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Nope," Setsuna responds readily. "Even Senpai is weird, there are angels and demons, and there's this half-man half-cat thing running around here." And I'm apparently not normal either.

He curiously has to ask, "What was the last place? Was it weirder than here?" Because if there is a stanger place than this one, he wants to hear about it.

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Yes, I've met the cat-man." She smirks a little. "Thinks quite a bit of himself, that one."

She sighs. "The 'last place' was a school for wizards on earth. Country called Scotland, I think."

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Yeah...he does," Setsuna muses, looking around to make sure Macavity isn't there -- he doesn't want a fight, but if Macavity gives him one, Setsuna won't back down from it.

When Susan speaks of the magic school, Setsuna looks back at her, eyes a bit wide. "Hogwarts?"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

Susan's eyebrows go up in surprise. "Hogwarts, yes. Were -- were you there?"

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Err...yeah. I was there for about a month or so," Setsuna responds, trying to remember for just how long. "It wasn't a very long stay. I was trying to get back when I ended up here instead."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Ahh." Susan nods. "I'd not have seen you then, most likely; I ... was not very sociable during my last few months there." A tiny cough as she clears her throat. "Er. What House were you in?"

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Well, I wasn't all that sociable either. More because I'd just gotten there and was more focused on getting money to get back to Tokyo," Setsuna admits. "I kinda regret that now, though, since I never got to experience one of Crowley's classes."

He shrugs. "Ravenclaw, though everyone thought I should be in Gryffindor. Even the Hat. I would have gone for Gryffindor, but I wanted to be with Kira-senpai. Which House were you in?"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Ravenclaw. I really did have my head low those last few months, didn't I, to have not run into you -- and I don't believe I know Kira either, although the name sounds familiar."

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Kira Sakuya," Setsuna offers, wondering if the added name would help any. Oh well.... "I think the only class he actually went to was Crowley's, but Crowley and Psyche knew him."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Ah. I may have been in Crowley's class with him, then, although I don't believe we ever spoke." She shakes her head. Small universe. Or something.

"How are you settling in here, then? Where are you staying?"

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Umm...well, I want out, so I don't know if I've settled all that well," Setsuna says, laughing a bit. "And I'm staying with Kira in Tomorrowland. We took over the Honey, I Shrunk the Audience theatre and are staying in a room. What land would you prefer getting stuck in until you escape?"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"I'm told Main Street would be suitable, or possibly New Orleans Square. Either would do."

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Crowley's staying in New Orleans Square," Setsuna tells her. "But I don't know if there's anyone on Main Street. I hope you find someplace comfortable, at least. You're so severe looking, I think you could use some relaxing."

Like he could go five hours without saying the wrong thing to someone? Sadly, no.

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

Luckily for Setsuna, seeing Psyche again and getting along with Alice has taken some of the edge off Susan's foul mood; as it is, she gives him just a bit of a Look and smiles ironically. "Why, thank you. Your concern is touching, you know."

He may not realise it until he gets to know her better, but Setsuna got off easy this time.

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

He had no idea, but considering his past fights with people over his mouth, he's mildly surprised when Susan takes it so well. "You're welcome!" Setsuna gladly says back as he puts his hands behind his head.

"And now I think I'll be going. Hope it's not too bad until we get out of here. If you want, you know where to find me, and we can all get together and find some way to escape."

[[ *snerk* His mun knows, but his mun also knows that boy can't keep his tongue to save his life. ]]