Application: Susan Sto Helit, Discworld

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

A tall, thin young woman appears in a puff of hot-pink smoke. Her hair, coiled in a rather prim bun, is white with a black streak through it; her eyes cold blue. She's sensibly dressed in a plain white blouse under a black jacket, long black skirt, and boots, and she looks rather schoolteacher-ish -- although instead of a ruler or pointer, she holds a cast-iron fireplace poker in her left hand. Her right hand is empty, which seems to startle her when she realises it.

She looks around hopefully, and immediately her face falls. "Oh hell. Hell. Now what?"

At the sight of Mickey and the Cat, she seems not so much astonished as deeply, deeply aggravated. She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs.

Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
"Susan Sto Helit."

"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
Susan narrows her eyes at the Cat, suspiciously. "Who wants to know?"

"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
She looks thoughtful for a minute. Then she laughs, humourlessly. "No, I don't think so. There'd be a trick; there always is. Wish someone alive again, they come back as a draggy re-animated corpse with a taste for brains. No thanks."

"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"I'd tell him to stop being an idiot and that he clearly didn't deserve any of the damn things."

Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
Susan rubs her forehead and looks very tired. "Revolution? Are you expecting one? Well, I'm a schoolteacher by profession. I'm good with children, and I've got a solid education."

And I can walk through walls, vanish, DO THAT VOICE, work outside and around time, oh, and save the universe if needed as well. Best not to bring that up now, though; who knows what these ... beings might do about it. And one never knew who might be listening. She doesn't mention the poker either, although she shifts it from left hand to right and holds it in a matter that suggests that she's had a lot of experience beating the hell out of things with it, or at least threatening to do so.

The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
She smiles, although it has to be noted that the smile really doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Dark, of course. And no bloody nougat centres, please."

"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"Someone once told me that 'ninja' was Agatean for 'the passing wind'," she says. "Some vampires are all right -- well, the Black Ribboners are, anyway -- and the Tooth Fairies tend to be good, hardworking girls. But for the two 'coolest' -- humans, because for all their stupidity and aggravation, they do manage to pull off some remarkable things. And bears, because as animals go, they're relatively sensible beasts."

"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
"Just this," she says, indicating the poker. Her seemingly amiable expression is not entirely pleasant. "It only kills monsters, mind you."


((Susan is taken from a few years after the end of The Thief of Time; before her arrival at Dizzy Land via an unfortunate magical accident, she spent a few months at Hogwarts in hogwarts_hocus.))

Comments

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Well, admittedly, most of those I've met are those who showed up when Gawain stepped on cracks," Susan said. "But I have to admire an animal that knows to get its head down when it's bloody cold and food is hard to come by."

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Nope," Setsuna responds readily. "Even Senpai is weird, there are angels and demons, and there's this half-man half-cat thing running around here." And I'm apparently not normal either.

He curiously has to ask, "What was the last place? Was it weirder than here?" Because if there is a stanger place than this one, he wants to hear about it.

[kuchiki.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Rukia agrees, not knowing what else to say.

"I never would have believed in time travel before I came here. Now I'll believe anything."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Yes, I've met the cat-man." She smirks a little. "Thinks quite a bit of himself, that one."

She sighs. "The 'last place' was a school for wizards on earth. Country called Scotland, I think."

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Yeah...he does," Setsuna muses, looking around to make sure Macavity isn't there -- he doesn't want a fight, but if Macavity gives him one, Setsuna won't back down from it.

When Susan speaks of the magic school, Setsuna looks back at her, eyes a bit wide. "Hogwarts?"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

A sympathetic smile. "I know exactly what you mean."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

Susan's eyebrows go up in surprise. "Hogwarts, yes. Were -- were you there?"

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Err...yeah. I was there for about a month or so," Setsuna responds, trying to remember for just how long. "It wasn't a very long stay. I was trying to get back when I ended up here instead."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Ahh." Susan nods. "I'd not have seen you then, most likely; I ... was not very sociable during my last few months there." A tiny cough as she clears her throat. "Er. What House were you in?"

[that-depends.livejournal.com]

"I suppose if their heads were down it would be easier to watch the cracks under the snow, to see if he'd stepped on them," considered the Cat. "I can't say it's a job I'd take, though, even if I'd ever take a job."

[hidden-paw.livejournal.com]

"Always." he purrs, although his green eyes do flick briefly to the serious looking poker and back, tail-tip flinching a little. "After all, if you're is not sure of yourself, how be sure of anything at all?"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

Blink. Blink. "Odd responses" indeed. "And asking questions of the new arrivals isn't a job? Or is it simply something you do for fun?"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I quite agree," Susan replies. And right now, I'm quite sure you're getting right up my nose. "Care to introduce yourself, by the way?"

[hidden-paw.livejournal.com]

He sweeps a short, slightly mocking bow. "Macavity, the Napoleon of Crime at your service."

He cocks his head to one side thoughtfully. "And you know, I'm sure I've heard the name Sto Helit somewhere before."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Have you now." She raises a sceptical eyebrow. Bluffing? Possibly. How would he know? We certainly don't have any of his kind on the Disc. That I know of. Oh hell. "Where are you from, Mr Macavity?"

[hidden-paw.livejournal.com]

"London, England, Earth, last time I checked, although when and which world is another question entirely, in my personal opinion." Macavity's never made much of a habit of lying - lies can be difficult to remember, and in his experience, truths are far more painful. "And yourself?"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

It's something of a relief that he seems to be flexible-minded enough to entertain the possibility of multiple worlds. "The city of Ankh-Morpork on the Discworld. Are there many of your kind, where you come from?"

[that-depends.livejournal.com]

Even wider grin than normal, and the Cat's eyes grow round with enthusiasm. "I like questions. I also like answers."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Do you like giving answers? Or do you prefer trading for them?" Susan's patience for nonsense is, in general, quite limited, but she wants to see where she can get with this creature.

[alicereflection.livejournal.com]

Alice looks around pointedly. "I think we're going to be here for a long time," she says wryly. "I would like to hear the story, though," she adds truthfully. "If you like, I will reciprocate."

She blinks. And then she laughs.

"You have met both Death and Pestilence?" she says. She couldn't say why she finds this so funny. It's absurd, but not funny. However it feels like she hasn't laughed in years - an odd thing to feel, but feelings are odd things anyway. "I'm afraid I've had to make do with Queens and Boojums and Hatters."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"We should meet for tea once all this --" a gesture at Cat and Mouse, "-- is done. I'd be glad to tell you more."

She smiles; yes, when you look at it from a certain distance, there's definitely an element of absurdity to her family and its associates. "Er. What's a Boojum?"

[alicereflection.livejournal.com]

"That would be delightful," Alice says truthfully. "Speaking of which," she continues," where would you like to go? I discovered yesterday we can vote on the locations of new arrivals. Personally, I think you would do rather well on Main Street."

She rubs her forehead. "A Boojum. Well. When I saw them, they looked rather a lot like skulls in ill-fitting robes (http://www.noctalis.com/dis/alice/). Had the most awful screams. Terribly unpleasant."

She frowns slightly. "I so hope that's over now," she says, so quietly she could almost be talking to herself.

[that-depends.livejournal.com]

"Trading? Trading questions for answers or answers for questions or questions for questions or answers for answers?"

[swordandchalice.livejournal.com]

"Well, I wasn't all that sociable either. More because I'd just gotten there and was more focused on getting money to get back to Tokyo," Setsuna admits. "I kinda regret that now, though, since I never got to experience one of Crowley's classes."

He shrugs. "Ravenclaw, though everyone thought I should be in Gryffindor. Even the Hat. I would have gone for Gryffindor, but I wanted to be with Kira-senpai. Which House were you in?"

[grimsirius.livejournal.com]

Sirius shrugs, not displaying any averse reaction to Susan's desription of her world. "It sounds interesting. Different, but I imagine people from there would think the idea of a big ball of water spinning around a star was odd, too. And seeing as we're all at a muggle theme park in the middle of an apparently endless grey void, I would say there are a lot of things stranger than turtles and elephants."