Reasons to Date a T-Rex
Aug. 15th, 2008 10:32 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
philosopher-rex.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
dizzy_landHow T-Rex managed to commandeer such a tiny radio station (at least, tiny in proportion to him) was a mystery that would never be solved. But still, commandeer it he did, and he announced:
"Hey, dudes and ladies! It's me, T-Rex! Here, appropriately with a list of reasons to date a T-Rex. Any T-Rex, but especially me!
First reason: You will always get to be first in line for everything! Nobody will ever cut in front of a T-Rex. And if they do, I'll stomp them.
Second reason: T-Rex make the most fantastic kissers! I have a list of my ex-girlfriends you can call and ask if you doubt me.
Third reason: You know how having a big, strong lover makes some people feel safe and secure because their lover can always protect them? A T-Rex will make you feel protected like that, times fifty billion.
Fourth reason: You will never be starved for conversation! T-Rexes are the most interesting dinosaurs. Everyone knows that. So you will never be bored.
Fifth reason: T-Rexes don't have lawyers, so if you divorce them, you can probably get a sweet deal! And not have to lose half your stuff!
...Hey, wait. That's not so good for the T-Rex! Anyone know where I can find a lawyer?
Sixth reason: As the cooloest of the cool dinosaurs, T-Rexes know all the best 'hot spots' in the city! It makes the fact that T-Rexes like to say 'hot spots' in finger quotes all the time completely worth putting up with!
And there you have it! Oh, and anyone who wants to call in with their own reasons to date a T-Rex, feel free!"
Anyone who was expecting any sort of context, explanation or clarification for why he'd decided to do this was going to be sorely disappointed.
"Hey, dudes and ladies! It's me, T-Rex! Here, appropriately with a list of reasons to date a T-Rex. Any T-Rex, but especially me!
First reason: You will always get to be first in line for everything! Nobody will ever cut in front of a T-Rex. And if they do, I'll stomp them.
Second reason: T-Rex make the most fantastic kissers! I have a list of my ex-girlfriends you can call and ask if you doubt me.
Third reason: You know how having a big, strong lover makes some people feel safe and secure because their lover can always protect them? A T-Rex will make you feel protected like that, times fifty billion.
Fourth reason: You will never be starved for conversation! T-Rexes are the most interesting dinosaurs. Everyone knows that. So you will never be bored.
Fifth reason: T-Rexes don't have lawyers, so if you divorce them, you can probably get a sweet deal! And not have to lose half your stuff!
...Hey, wait. That's not so good for the T-Rex! Anyone know where I can find a lawyer?
Sixth reason: As the cooloest of the cool dinosaurs, T-Rexes know all the best 'hot spots' in the city! It makes the fact that T-Rexes like to say 'hot spots' in finger quotes all the time completely worth putting up with!
And there you have it! Oh, and anyone who wants to call in with their own reasons to date a T-Rex, feel free!"
Anyone who was expecting any sort of context, explanation or clarification for why he'd decided to do this was going to be sorely disappointed.
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