What's going on, and other impossible questions to answer (Semi-Open RP)

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

((Following from here.))

"You don't have to live in Frontierland, you know," Logan said as he led the way through to Main Street. "I mean, it's okay and all, Una lives at the firing range so, you know, ready source of ammo if you needed it. If more zombies arrived or something, you'd be set. But you can live anywhere you want."

Noticing they were passing the Emporium, he added, "They've got pillows and towels and things here, we should stop and get you some. And maybe a plastic bag or something to carry things in. Um. So. New Orleans Square."

Comments

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

She nodded and stopped at the Emporium. "More zombies?" she asked, skeptically. "There are zombies in New Orleans Square?"

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"No, no, actually, there was just the one zombie and that was...a while ago. Everybody just remembers it because, well, zombie, and also that was the first time Mickey sent anybody away. I think. So people make random zombie references. I wouldn't put it past this place to have a zombie invasion, of course." He peered at the rack of cartoon-character beachtowels. "Do you see yourself as more of a Tinkerbell or a Wendy?"

"No, what the Square's got is..." he dropped his voice slightly. He didn't see anyone else in the store, but it never hurt. "...Well, actually, they have come back from the dead. Not as zombies, though."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

"So... vampires? Ghosts? Eighties fashions?" Veronica asked. She pushed aside a Buzz Lightyear towel and found a Peter Pan one that wasn't too horrible.

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"Don't mention vampires around the chick who runs the Blue Bayou," advised Logan. "Actually she told me there was a...a demon or something around? Pretending to be a vampire? Turned into a whole discussion of Bram Stoker's Dracula, which she's never seen. Explaining Gary Oldman's hair was fun." He went and fetched an enormous back, which he held open for the towel. "Pillows are over there." (They were all round, with mouse ears.)

"So. You know 'Sweeney Todd'?"

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

"You mean the musical?" Veronica dropped the towel in the bag and examined the pillows. "Are there actual beds?" she asked, leaving the questions about vampires and demons and zombies (oh my!) for later.

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, the musical. Sondheim, 'Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...' that whole thing."

"Beds...not unless you find someone with magical powers to make one for you," said Logan. "...that wasn't sarcasm. Look for people with wands. Aside from that, Susan's got the only naturally occurring beds in the park over at First Aid, so."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, it's been a while since I've seen it, but I know it," she said, picking out a couple of pillows. "I wouldn't think it'd be a Disney kind of thing." Speaking of magic... "Susan said something about you and Hogwarts?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I'll...get to that," Logan said with no very great enthusiasm. "I wouldn't have thought I was a Disney kind of thing. Remember the security guards that one time we all came here in 9th grade? I think they would've agreed. But here we are. And guess what, so are Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

"I remember," Veronica said, with a small smile and the inevitable pang of loss that accompanied any Lilly-related thoughts. "Here? Like, the actual Demon Barber of Fleet Street?" She gave him a skeptical look.

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"In the pasty-white flesh," he confirmed. He took a long breath. "We don't actually know for sure...Dr. Jackson says there was an actual historical Sweeney Todd, so it might be him." If it helped with the whole 'not a real person' thing. But Veronica was going to have to deal with some part of the fact that there were fictional characters around, and pretty quickly. Logan stuffed his hands in his pockets and tried to think of the best way to phrase things so she'd take it all at least semi-seriously.

"Either way you look at it, there's this guy wandering around New Orleans Square with a set of razors, looking mopey. And there's a woman with a Cockney accent who's taken over one of the restaurants there and turned it into a meat-pie shop. And they tried to kill each other a while ago, apparently."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

"A meat-pie shop?" she echoed, suddenly feeling a little queasy. "Are people disappearing?"

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

Funny you should ask... "We don't think they're, uh, using the old recipe," Logan said. "I mean, mainly, there's plenty of actual meat around, this isn't the Donner Party, and that was the whole reason for the pies. The meat shortage in London. Well, that and getting rid of the bodies." He leaned against the wall next to a rack of t-shirts. "But we've got them under surveillance, and they don't seem to be working together now - not surprising, I mean, they killed each other - and anyway, the, uh. Disappearances. Started before they arrived."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

She stared at him for a long moment. Great. So she was stuck here with no Dad, no Backup and there was a pair of serial killers running around, possibly baking people into pies. Guess she'd be sleeping with her tazer under her pillow.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. "Maybe some people just found a way out?" she suggested.

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"Could be." Logan looked down at the bag he held. He sometimes wasn't that great at multitasking, not if he was actually interested in the words falling out of his mouth - what else would Veronica need? Oh, a toothbrush, maybe. He moved towards the appropriate shelf. "The thing is, if they did, either they're complete bastards and not bothering to tell their best friends the way out, or they, like, fell through by accident and can't come back. So there's no guarantee that 'out' is 'home.' Plus there's sort of...context, from Hogwarts."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

Veronica considered what she knew about this place so far. "If we got here without warning and we can't contact the people back home, it kind of makes sense that the process could work in reverse. For a given value of 'sense.' What's the 'context'?"

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

Look at her being all logical. It was adorable. And sort of aggravating, too. "Well, the first part of the context is that there was a Hogwarts at all. Some of us were there before we came here. And it wasn't like it is in the Harry Potter books...well, it was, but it wasn't. I guess it was about as much alike as this place is like Real Disneyland - most things looked the same, but everyone was completely freaking insane. And from all over, different universes and stuff. So there's that."

"And then there's the fact that people used to go missing sometimes there. Which, considering that there were some scary-ass psycho killers wandering around - and I say psycho as someone who's...who is me - was cause for considerable alarm, but there was this room where people's names used to appear when they disappeared. Nobody knew why it was happening or how."

"And so then one day I'm walking around outside, and suddenly I'm here. And Susan and Kira - you didn't meet Kira, did you? He's a good guy - are all, 'But you disappeared months ago! Your name was on the wall in the Popcorn Room.' So I don't know, maybe there's a whole string of alternate universes or something, but any way you look at it, time is fucked upside down and backwards."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

Veronica picked up a Stitch plushie and stared at it. "This is all completely insane, you know," she said conversationally.

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, my best friend at Hogwarts was a werewolf. I haven't exactly failed to notice it's all insane." He tapped the identical plushie which had just appeared in the place of the one she picked up.

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

Veronica blinked at the replacement plushie, then shrugged and dropped the Stitch she was holding into the bag. "What's the plan with Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett?" she asked. "Just keep watching until they kill someone?"

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

Logan waved his hands to indicate profound frustration. "Kinda. Sorta. I really, really don't like it. At all. But what the hell can we do? There's no jail here, there's just two cops, both of whom are idiots. And even if we could lock them away, we'd have to grab them first, which people are being all wishy-washy about because it's not like they've hurt anybody here. Besides each other. That we know of. And, granted, trying to arrest one or both of them does seem like the kind of thing that would just set them off." Not that Logan was particularly good at not setting off violent behavior in others.

"One good thing. Actually two good things. First of all, they don't know we know. Because how could they? Unless somebody's idiot enough to walk up to one of them and say, 'Hey, is it true people taste like chicken?' or something, which I wouldn't rule out, as far as they know they're home free and they don't have a reason to try to kill anyone."

He paused, then sighed. "...which is actually more of a comfort to people who haven't had to deal with, you know, killers before. And the fact that they're not always what you'd call 'reasonable.'" And that wasn't really a topic he liked to expand on, but it was nice to know he was talking to someone who knew exactly who what he meant.

"The other good thing is, we're not sure but it seems like there's this...thing that might be watching us all the time." Pause. "And breaking up fights. That's the good part. Not that it's watching, which is obviously creepy as hell."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

There had to be parts of the park that could be converted to jail cells but they'd still need somebody competent to arrest and detain them. "Yeah," Veronica said. "I guess there's not much else to do right now." Dammit. One of her pet peeves was murderers walking around loose.

"Next time we get stuck in an alternate dimension, I get to pick the place," she told him.

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

That got a grin out of him. "Agreed. As long as you keep the unicorns to a minimum."

"So. What else, here? There's clothes shops all over, you shouldn't have a problem there. You need film or batteries or anything? They're by the register."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

"Unicorns just aren't special when you have a whole herd of them," Veronica assured him as she helped herself to some batteries. "I guess I need to find a place to stay. Any suggestions?"

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"I was more thinking how they'd attack me on sight, but yeah." Logan looked thoughtful. "Do you want to be in Frontierland? Any particular things you need, like...I don't know, a dark room, or something? I recommend picking someplace close to some of the better bathrooms."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

"No darkroom. I'm all digital these days," Veronica said, patting her bag to reassure herself that her camera was there. "Somewhere I could easily recharge my laptop would be good. And I'm all in favor of the better bathrooms. Are there showers or anything here?"

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"There's a bunch of little fountains in my backyard," said Logan solemnly. "You're welcome to run around nude in them to get clean."

"Aside from that...I heard Cayce Pollard rigged up a shower over in Tomorrowland, but other than that you're kind of stuck taking sponge baths or using the lakes."

...which sounded disgusting, didn't it? Logan went swimming at least once a day, washed his hair in the sink and dealt with laundry by the simple expedient of wearing things once and then throwing them away, but he was also a teenage boy.

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

Veronica just rolled her eyes at the comment about the fountains.

"I'll figure out something," she decided. Maybe she could rig up a shower, too? Or a bath might be easier, if she had hot running water and something to use as a tub.

"Doesn't have to be Frontierland. Somewhere, uh, easily defensible would be good," she said, thinking of Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett. Plus whatever other psychos might be around. (Not counting Logan, of course.)

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"I could write Cayce and ask her how she did it. I probably should write her anyway, to tell her I told you about Todd and Lovett." It had honestly never occurred to Logan not to tell Veronica about them - though there were definitely a few other things he was going to be trying to keep under his hat - but in retrospect, hadn't they sort of agreed it would be a good idea to keep the 'murderers in our midst!' thing quiet? 'So this tiny cute blonde girl showed up and of course I told her everything' might not go over well with people who didn't know the girl in question.

Well, fuck 'em if they couldn't take a joke. He was going to have enough to do trying to stop Veronica from going round to knock on Boba Fett's door and demand his qualifications or something, he figured.

"Defensible. Well. Frontierland is kind of built like a fort, and like I said, Una's got guns, but it's a fort that's totally open on one side to New Orleans Square. You know, you might as well just come to Toontown. It's away from the rest of the park and it's still pretty open."

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

"Maybe," Veronica said slowly. She thought living in a three-dimensional cartoon world might slowly drive her insane.

... of course, she was staying at some kind of bizarro Disneyland where there were two fictional murderers, a Founding Father and her ex-boyfriend/part-time arch-nemesis. If she were driven any more insane, she might just come around to normal.

"Sure," she said wearily, giving up. "Toontown'll work." Okay, fine, she had to admit that the idea of having Logan nearby was a little reassuring. Which just went to show how utterly insane she was at the moment.

[thebadboyfriend.livejournal.com]

"Peachy keen," said Logan. Who had no problem admitting to himself that he'd feel better if Veronica lived within shouting distance. Your friends close, your enemies closer, and she happened to be both. "Shall we go scope out your housing choices? Anything else you think you might need?"

[veronica-pi.livejournal.com]

Interdimensional portal? Over-protective pitbull? "What are my options?" Veronica asked.