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[girl-or-weapon.livejournal.com]

River was dreaming. But really, can you call it dreaming if what you're dreaming isn't a dream, but a nightmare? River rarely had dreams anymore; she hardly even remembered what they were like. No, River was having a nightmare.

Tonight, like many other nights, she was back in the Academy, having tests run. As they shoved a needle in through her forehead, she screamed and tried to reach up and pull it out, but the metal bands around her wrists kept them firmly down on the arms of the metal chair she was strapped to. "What do you see?" they asked her.

What did she see? It was hard to see through the tears that clouded her vision, but it almost looked like... Mickey Mouse?

She shot up in bed with a gasp, barely able to keep from screaming.

She climbed out of bed, shaking like a leaf, and made her way out of her room. "Simon?" she called out weakly.

Upon leaving her room, she wasn't where she expected to be anymore. She didn't even appear to be on Serenity anymore. Was she hallucinating? Where was she? And why were Mickey Mouse and the Cheshire Cat approaching her?

Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
River eyed Mickey suspiciously. "What's yours?"

"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
Her quest? She stepped back, looking puzzled. If this was a hallucination, why wasn't it fading? "I can't tell you. Where am I? Who are you?"

"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to
give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"Genies aren't real," River said slowly. But then, neither were Mickey Mouse and the Cheshire Cat, right? "And I'm not a genie. Or a flower."

Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
River was starting to get overwhelmed at the interrogation. "It's come and gone, and I played no part. Can play a part... like a play or ballet. Prima donna ballerina?"

The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
"Chocolate releases endorphins that simulate the sensations of happiness and love. Like sunshine and grass and deep blue skies."

"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"I'd assume vampires and robots. Robots are made of metal which, in room temperature and cooler, tends to feel very cool to the touch, and vampires are essentially corpses."

"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
Sharp? No, Mal didn't let her near sharp things. She shook her head.

((Apping River Tam from Firefly/Serenity. This River is from after Firefly, but before Serenity.))