Application: Susan Sto Helit, Discworld

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

A tall, thin young woman appears in a puff of hot-pink smoke. Her hair, coiled in a rather prim bun, is white with a black streak through it; her eyes cold blue. She's sensibly dressed in a plain white blouse under a black jacket, long black skirt, and boots, and she looks rather schoolteacher-ish -- although instead of a ruler or pointer, she holds a cast-iron fireplace poker in her left hand. Her right hand is empty, which seems to startle her when she realises it.

She looks around hopefully, and immediately her face falls. "Oh hell. Hell. Now what?"

At the sight of Mickey and the Cat, she seems not so much astonished as deeply, deeply aggravated. She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs.

Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
"Susan Sto Helit."

"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
Susan narrows her eyes at the Cat, suspiciously. "Who wants to know?"

"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
She looks thoughtful for a minute. Then she laughs, humourlessly. "No, I don't think so. There'd be a trick; there always is. Wish someone alive again, they come back as a draggy re-animated corpse with a taste for brains. No thanks."

"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"I'd tell him to stop being an idiot and that he clearly didn't deserve any of the damn things."

Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
Susan rubs her forehead and looks very tired. "Revolution? Are you expecting one? Well, I'm a schoolteacher by profession. I'm good with children, and I've got a solid education."

And I can walk through walls, vanish, DO THAT VOICE, work outside and around time, oh, and save the universe if needed as well. Best not to bring that up now, though; who knows what these ... beings might do about it. And one never knew who might be listening. She doesn't mention the poker either, although she shifts it from left hand to right and holds it in a matter that suggests that she's had a lot of experience beating the hell out of things with it, or at least threatening to do so.

The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
She smiles, although it has to be noted that the smile really doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Dark, of course. And no bloody nougat centres, please."

"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"Someone once told me that 'ninja' was Agatean for 'the passing wind'," she says. "Some vampires are all right -- well, the Black Ribboners are, anyway -- and the Tooth Fairies tend to be good, hardworking girls. But for the two 'coolest' -- humans, because for all their stupidity and aggravation, they do manage to pull off some remarkable things. And bears, because as animals go, they're relatively sensible beasts."

"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
"Just this," she says, indicating the poker. Her seemingly amiable expression is not entirely pleasant. "It only kills monsters, mind you."


((Susan is taken from a few years after the end of The Thief of Time; before her arrival at Dizzy Land via an unfortunate magical accident, she spent a few months at Hogwarts in hogwarts_hocus.))

Comments

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Oh? Crowley said no one was living on Main Street. Must've missed the other arrivals, then. I wouldn't mind that, I suppose, and I could manage the First Aid in a pinch. All that governessing was good for some skills, anyway." And it would be good to be useful again, she reflected, recalling a conversation (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/839485.html?thread=41939005#t41939005) from not so long ago on that very subject.

[late-born-myth.livejournal.com]

"That's odd," says Psyche of Crowley's comment. But perhaps there is some reason Crowley didn't want to bring up Aziraphale. He'd reacted badly when Psyche mentioned the angel as a friend - perhaps it's part of some sort of elaborate cover story they've agreed to stick to? These past versions of Aziraphale and Crowley seem much more chary of revealing their identities than the ones she knew before...but after all, she didn't known either of them that well. It's probably best to let the two of them keep whatever secrets they're trying to hide. "At any rate...yes, I think Aziraphale...no, he's going by Mr. Fell here...he's adopted Alice."

She sighs. "I wish I could say it's unlikely we'll have a pinch and someone will need first aid, but, well. Just yesterday some sort of soulless undead monster arrived, and while no one was badly hurt and it all got resolved with nothing more than another disturbing facet being added to the place...well, it's not terribly reassuring that such a number of residents seem to be carrying bladed weapons at all times."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Ah. I didn't know Aziraphale at Hogwarts, although I sort of vaguely knew who he was. Mr Fell. Noted."

The comment about the bladed weapons elicits a snort. "Some things never change, do they? Please tell me that the weapon-carriers are at least sane. Soulless undead monsters, well --" a slight wave of the poker. "That I can manage. Still, to be honest, I was starting to think that one good thing about being stranded here might be having a bit of a breather."

[late-born-myth.livejournal.com]

"Kira, Rukia, and Alice," Psyche tells her. "I suppose it depends on your definition of sanity, but I wouldn't think any of them would be dangerous to the rest of us."

"And on the bright side...you don't have the...specific problems here that you did there, at least." Psyche makes a wry face. "You know, I used to try to think sometimes of a way some of that could be resolved without involving sudden death, betrayal, or mutilation. Being trapped in a mysterious alternate Disneyland certainly never occurred to me. Um." Of course, that might be even less funny a joke than Psyche thought, she realized. "That is...there haven't been any deaths while I've been gone, have there?"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Well, at least I can vouch for Rukia -- even if the one here predates the one I knew before. And ... yes, while this isn't exactly the solution I'd have chosen, at least everyone is still in one piece." She smiled wryly. "No, no deaths. Just lots and lots of popcorn."

Oh. She'd almost forgotten -- how? -- one very important piece of news that she knew Psyche would want to know. And now was probably -- no, certainly not the time to bring it up, not with other people and entities standing around and passing by. "We have a hell of a lot of catching up to do, I think," she said.

[late-born-myth.livejournal.com]

"I think so too." With a sideways glance at Mickey and the Cat, "I think once they've decided where to place you - it only takes them a few hours, it's not like being Sorted - we should plan on taking a walk around the park. I can show you where things are, you can tell me what's been going on, and we can both try our combined charm on Crowley to see if he'll give us a few drinks. I have a feeling we'll both be needing them."

She can wait to ask about Eros till then. Kira did say he was all right...although the way he said it was a little odd. But...

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

Susan nods. "All right. I'll look for you when it's done. Thank you." A tiny pause, and then she hugs Psyche again. "I am glad you're here," she says.