Application: Susan Sto Helit, Discworld

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

A tall, thin young woman appears in a puff of hot-pink smoke. Her hair, coiled in a rather prim bun, is white with a black streak through it; her eyes cold blue. She's sensibly dressed in a plain white blouse under a black jacket, long black skirt, and boots, and she looks rather schoolteacher-ish -- although instead of a ruler or pointer, she holds a cast-iron fireplace poker in her left hand. Her right hand is empty, which seems to startle her when she realises it.

She looks around hopefully, and immediately her face falls. "Oh hell. Hell. Now what?"

At the sight of Mickey and the Cat, she seems not so much astonished as deeply, deeply aggravated. She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs.

Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
"Susan Sto Helit."

"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
Susan narrows her eyes at the Cat, suspiciously. "Who wants to know?"

"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
She looks thoughtful for a minute. Then she laughs, humourlessly. "No, I don't think so. There'd be a trick; there always is. Wish someone alive again, they come back as a draggy re-animated corpse with a taste for brains. No thanks."

"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"I'd tell him to stop being an idiot and that he clearly didn't deserve any of the damn things."

Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
Susan rubs her forehead and looks very tired. "Revolution? Are you expecting one? Well, I'm a schoolteacher by profession. I'm good with children, and I've got a solid education."

And I can walk through walls, vanish, DO THAT VOICE, work outside and around time, oh, and save the universe if needed as well. Best not to bring that up now, though; who knows what these ... beings might do about it. And one never knew who might be listening. She doesn't mention the poker either, although she shifts it from left hand to right and holds it in a matter that suggests that she's had a lot of experience beating the hell out of things with it, or at least threatening to do so.

The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
She smiles, although it has to be noted that the smile really doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Dark, of course. And no bloody nougat centres, please."

"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"Someone once told me that 'ninja' was Agatean for 'the passing wind'," she says. "Some vampires are all right -- well, the Black Ribboners are, anyway -- and the Tooth Fairies tend to be good, hardworking girls. But for the two 'coolest' -- humans, because for all their stupidity and aggravation, they do manage to pull off some remarkable things. And bears, because as animals go, they're relatively sensible beasts."

"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
"Just this," she says, indicating the poker. Her seemingly amiable expression is not entirely pleasant. "It only kills monsters, mind you."


((Susan is taken from a few years after the end of The Thief of Time; before her arrival at Dizzy Land via an unfortunate magical accident, she spent a few months at Hogwarts in hogwarts_hocus.))

Comments

[late-born-myth.livejournal.com]

"Well, you see, it's meant to be...I don't suppose there are amusement parks in your world? The real place is owned by this large and very wealthy company called Disney which is best known for various kinds of entertainment...usually focused on children. And this enormous park was built as sort of a playground or permanent fair, with rides and things for families and tourists to look at and be entertained by, and packed with things to buy. So different parts of the park are made to look like different places, real and unreal."

"Except that here...well, all the people who should be here making it run seem to be missing. But it does run, nevertheless." Which reminded her very sharply of a palace on a mountaintop, a long time ago, where invisible servants prepared everything for her but never spoke. "And no one stops you from just taking all the things that are meant to be parting you from your money."

She shrugged. "So far...most of us have been trying to get a grip on what's going on. Exploring the park, finding places to sleep, settling in or looking for ways out. It...it's only been a few days, you see. And Crowley and I were the first two to arrive, besides Mickey and the Cat."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Worse and worse," Susan mutters. "And I thought that school was unsettling. No, we don't have amusement parks on the Disc, and that's probably just as well, if this is any indication." She is reminded suddenly of Buddy and the whole Music With Rocks In business. She's pretty sure that if anyone ever did launch a Discworld amusement park, C.M.O.T. Dibbler's grubby fingers would be attached to it somewhere.

"Still. It sounds like we have food and shelter. Don't know what I'm going to do without a change of clothes, but I'll figure something out." She bends over and picks up the poker from where she dropped it when she saw Psyche; she needs something to fiddle with, and its weight is at least a little reassuring.

[late-born-myth.livejournal.com]

"Oh, yes, there's plenty of food, and even aside from all the buildings available, the weather makes you fairly unlikely to have to worry about exposure." She considers the problem of clothes for a moment. "If you don't mind wearing the clothes they sell here, of course, there's a nearly endless supply. I can't imagine them suiting you especially, of course, but it would at least be something to change into. And there are plenty of large sinks and things, so it ought to be possible to do laundry."

She frowns down at her own immaculate chiton. "I suppose I could make you a change of clothes or two, with a little practice. I'm not really used to making them in your style, of course - I don't know how to make that sort of sleeve, or shoe..."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Oh, thanks -- but I expect I can make do." It won't be the first time she's had to wash clothes by hand, and at the very least she should be able to find something that will suffice for wearing while washing up. She misses, briefly, the rather extensive wardrobe and lingerie collection she'd amassed before ... but no point in getting too glum about things beyond one's control.

"Anything else I ought to know? Where are you staying, by the way?"

[late-born-myth.livejournal.com]

"I'm in Fantasyland, apparently because of my 'fairy wings' and a comment Crowley made about my general outlook on life," Psyche says, looking decidedly amused. "I made a sort of a place for myself up on the far side of the park, to the right of It's A Small World. That's a..." she tries to think of a way to explain the ride to Susan, and ends up looking even more amused. "Well, you'll really just have to see it for yourself, but it's a fairly large landmark."

"If I were you, though, I'd ask for either Main Street or New Orleans Square." Fantasyland would most likely drive Susan around the bend. "Probably Main Street - it's probably a good idea to have someone practical looking out for that area, since it's the entrance to all the rest of the park has the First Aid Station. At the moment only Aziraphale and Alice live there..."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Oh? Crowley said no one was living on Main Street. Must've missed the other arrivals, then. I wouldn't mind that, I suppose, and I could manage the First Aid in a pinch. All that governessing was good for some skills, anyway." And it would be good to be useful again, she reflected, recalling a conversation (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/839485.html?thread=41939005#t41939005) from not so long ago on that very subject.

[late-born-myth.livejournal.com]

"That's odd," says Psyche of Crowley's comment. But perhaps there is some reason Crowley didn't want to bring up Aziraphale. He'd reacted badly when Psyche mentioned the angel as a friend - perhaps it's part of some sort of elaborate cover story they've agreed to stick to? These past versions of Aziraphale and Crowley seem much more chary of revealing their identities than the ones she knew before...but after all, she didn't known either of them that well. It's probably best to let the two of them keep whatever secrets they're trying to hide. "At any rate...yes, I think Aziraphale...no, he's going by Mr. Fell here...he's adopted Alice."

She sighs. "I wish I could say it's unlikely we'll have a pinch and someone will need first aid, but, well. Just yesterday some sort of soulless undead monster arrived, and while no one was badly hurt and it all got resolved with nothing more than another disturbing facet being added to the place...well, it's not terribly reassuring that such a number of residents seem to be carrying bladed weapons at all times."

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Ah. I didn't know Aziraphale at Hogwarts, although I sort of vaguely knew who he was. Mr Fell. Noted."

The comment about the bladed weapons elicits a snort. "Some things never change, do they? Please tell me that the weapon-carriers are at least sane. Soulless undead monsters, well --" a slight wave of the poker. "That I can manage. Still, to be honest, I was starting to think that one good thing about being stranded here might be having a bit of a breather."

[late-born-myth.livejournal.com]

"Kira, Rukia, and Alice," Psyche tells her. "I suppose it depends on your definition of sanity, but I wouldn't think any of them would be dangerous to the rest of us."

"And on the bright side...you don't have the...specific problems here that you did there, at least." Psyche makes a wry face. "You know, I used to try to think sometimes of a way some of that could be resolved without involving sudden death, betrayal, or mutilation. Being trapped in a mysterious alternate Disneyland certainly never occurred to me. Um." Of course, that might be even less funny a joke than Psyche thought, she realized. "That is...there haven't been any deaths while I've been gone, have there?"

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

"Well, at least I can vouch for Rukia -- even if the one here predates the one I knew before. And ... yes, while this isn't exactly the solution I'd have chosen, at least everyone is still in one piece." She smiled wryly. "No, no deaths. Just lots and lots of popcorn."

Oh. She'd almost forgotten -- how? -- one very important piece of news that she knew Psyche would want to know. And now was probably -- no, certainly not the time to bring it up, not with other people and entities standing around and passing by. "We have a hell of a lot of catching up to do, I think," she said.

[late-born-myth.livejournal.com]

"I think so too." With a sideways glance at Mickey and the Cat, "I think once they've decided where to place you - it only takes them a few hours, it's not like being Sorted - we should plan on taking a walk around the park. I can show you where things are, you can tell me what's been going on, and we can both try our combined charm on Crowley to see if he'll give us a few drinks. I have a feeling we'll both be needing them."

She can wait to ask about Eros till then. Kira did say he was all right...although the way he said it was a little odd. But...

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

Susan nods. "All right. I'll look for you when it's done. Thank you." A tiny pause, and then she hugs Psyche again. "I am glad you're here," she says.