There's a trick with a knife I'm learning to do.

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

It was yet another sunny morning. On the lake's grassy bank near Frontierland, Una Persson lay stretched out on her stomach on a beach towel, wearing a blue maillot and reading a pristine first edition of Du côté de chez Swann that she'd borrowed from the Doctor. A blue silk caftan lay neatly folded nearby. As she read, she ate an apple, cutting slices off with her clasp knife, and reflected that unnerving though the park's absence of insect life was, it was pleasant to not have to worry about ants for once.

She'd always wanted to read À la recherche du temps perdu, but she'd never had the time. Now, having nothing but Time of a sort and the TARDIS library at her disposal, she reckoned she should take the opportunity. But between the oddly soothing quality of Proust's prose and the soporific warmth of the day, Una soon found her eyelids growing heavy. She took off her sunglasses and put her head down, thinking to rest for just a moment. Soon she was dozing like a cat in the sun, the breeze occasionally ruffling her hair and the pages of the open book, a half-eaten apple and the open clasp knife near her elbow.

((Some small number of days after Una's latest confab with Starbuck. Closed to Una and the Master; of course, as long as they're outside, passersby who might conceivably be in the area could easily catch sight of them, but it's probably best not to interfere.  ^_^))

((ETA: *facepalm* Do I really have to say anything, warning-wise? We should know better than to leave them around sharp objects...))

Comments

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

"Well, you never know what sort of fallout might come from a deal with the devil. Or any demon." It was mostly a joke. She pretended to study her fingernails and ran her hand slowly through her hair. "Anyway, already did the tempt-and-arouse thing, darling. Don't tell me you've forgotten the tabloid."

Her brain reeled back and latched onto the comment about the T-Rex. "Why on earth would you think the dinosaur might have said something?" The question by itself was so absurd that she started to laugh.

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"It might be fun trying to get out of it, though." He watched a little distractedly as her hand went through her hair. "I see. Once is a charm, twice is a bore."

His lips pressed together for a moment, and suddenly he was flipping the knife again. "Ah, I forgot to mention the latest in a long series of revelations. Probably suffered a bit of memory damage from being pummeled." Which was far from the truth, but who could count at this point? "We had a talk a while back. With the Rani. Seem he knows a bit more about us than he should. A particular sort of knowing that suggested we were well-known villains to him."

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

"Not always. But in this case, perhaps so. People here are so easily shocked, don't you think? Not to mention that I think now, a certain amount of outrageous behaviour is expected from me."

Her mouth twitched at the memory damage comment, although she didn't dare laugh. She was silent for a moment, then said, "Judging from the look on your face, your choice of words, and some of the other things we've been talking about, I'm going to hazard a guess and say the dinosaur's knowledge of you has nothing to do with him coming from your native universe and knowing you by reputation."

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"They are easily shocked," he agreed, but of course, that wasn't really surprising coming from him. "Still I hardly think one little picture could so destroy your reputation."

Another slice off the apple, this time drawing the knife back hard enough that it looks as though he might break skin. "I'm inclined to guess that if there had been any talking dinosaurs in my universe, one of us would have noticed. So no."

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

"Such as it is," she murmured, and shrugged, amused and not particularly serious.

As to the dinosaur, what it might have known, and the implications thereof ... She considered this for a moment and said, "You know, I told Catherine once that we're all characters in a bad novel and ought to at least work to have some share in the writing thereof. I was speaking metaphorically. Well. I thought I was, anyway."

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"We came to the unsteady conclusion that we had to be a television serial," he said with dry humour. "Sighting regeneration as one of the reasons why; could change the actor forever. He didn't like the idea of being the central hero so much." Which the Master still couldn't quite figure out. In times past it would have played to his ego so well.

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

"Fair logic," she said. "Certainly goes some way towards explaining the various adventures you and he have told me about. Nicely tension-fraught, exotic locations, and able to be wrapped up in a few hours, at least from the viewer's perspective." Her lightly ironic tone covered a certain amount of existential dread. It'd probably all hit her much harder later.

In the meantime, it was easier to riff on the ideas with her own experiences. "You know, there's a good friend of mine, a Mr Moorcock, who's been borrowing my accounts of my own adventures and publishing them as fiction.* Obviously it all makes a much easier sell, because really, what ordinary person would believe, say, the story of an Edwardian adventurer displaced into an alternate 1976. Perhaps I'm not really me. Perhaps I'm Mr Moorcock's version of me." She shrugged; the gesture was careless, but there was a hint of that dread in her eyes. "Or does it really matter?"

*((And yes, this conceit is genuinely canon.))

((Also, this seems like a good time to point out that I've been ignoring the bit in The Condition of Muzak where someone observes that a guest at Jerry's Christmas party is "dressed as Doctor Who", and goes on to wonder if the theme of the party is characters from British folklore.))

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"He came up with a theory," the Master said suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere. "In our universe, what is commonly thought of as the devil is actually a rather vicious alien entity who was trapped on a planet stuck at the edges of a black hole. Being near that black hole caused what we call a bleed-through, a dispersal across the universe, containing certain subconscious frequencies. Which explained why Satan looked so similar between so many planets and species across the universe."

He leaned back on his elbows and looked up at the sky, staring directly into the sun for longer than any human should. "Bleed-through can be pan-dimensional, far as we know. Maybe in some other universe, that gentleman you're talking about has never actually met you. He only claims he has in writing because another version of him did, and he experiences that. Sometimes when he dreams. Sometimes in random waking moments he just goes away for a while." He looks back down at her. "Or you're right. Suppose it's anyone's guess."

((Aaaaahahahaaaa. Of course, it might just be that Una's not too familiar with the show, and the guy was dressed as a Doctor she's never seen clothes for before. ^_^))

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

It was a surprisingly poetic image, and Una found she liked it, and that it eased the dread somewhat. "So the dream becomes the artist's way along the moonbeam roads, across the multiverse. They're travellers too, dreamthieves, even though they don't realise it." She twisted around to recline on her side again, facing him. "It's a good theory. Not least because it allows us to maintain a belief in free will."

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"And belief in, oh, reality," the Master pointed out. "Though we were having a laugh trying to reconcile so many years of hostility for the sake of petty entertainment of the masses. Not sure that anything could surprise me, at this point."

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

"Feels vaguely insulting, when you put it that way," Una observed. "Trivialising of one's own experiences. I wonder if that other Mr Moorcock, wherever he might be, is using my friends and me to advance a political agenda. Given the sorts of things I've been through, I can't imagine what else he'd do with it."

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"He also might just like shocking people." The Master turned the knife over in his hand again. "Seeing as the relationships you engage in are scarcely the society-accepted sort. More than anything, it just leads to a desire to question every action you take, so it's not very useful."

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

She sniggered a little. She couldn't help it, really.

"I wonder what it says about me that I find the whole concept slightly more amusing than disturbing? Not that I'm entirely pleased with it, mind you—there are many things I know I'd rather not have leaking across the multiverse for the entertainment of the masses. But there's something at least slightly funny about it, to me."

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"Oh, it's very funny," the Master agreed, perhaps a bit too quickly. "It proves that whoever writes all of this has as sick of a sense of humour as they come. Deeming it fit for general public consumption, that is. I wonder if they get censor complaints." Because, in light of his own history, he really had to wonder what would have been put on display. His initiation? The years he spent half dead? What about the deaths he had been responsible for? Hundreds of millions of them. Were they all easy access as well? Were they glossed over or filtered out?

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

"Probably," Una said. "One wonders as well where all this fits in." She gestured at the surrounding area, hand helicoptering vaguely in all directions. "That's to say, since this is all outside the main of our usual adventures, I wonder if it's also filtering through somewhere." She smiled, a little wickedly. "Depending on what one's audience is accustomed to, there may be some terribly shocked people out there."

Well, it was either laugh at it all or have a nervous breakdown, and the latter was really not an option. Rarely had been, as far as Una was concerned.

"Speaking of which," she went on, "it's nice to see you out in the daylight for once." It was said lightly enough, but there wasn't any sarcasm in it.

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"Who demand it be rewritten, as it seems so very out of character," he said with a roll of his eyes. Well, stick the viewer and readership in pocket dimension Disneyland and see how well they fair.

The smile wasn't on his lips, but ducking in the back of his eyes. "Well, you know, I usually try to avoid you when I'm out in public. Can you imagine the gossip if we were to be seen together?" He claps a hand over his mouth in shock. It was perhaps funnier for the fact that it was partly true, in a sense.

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

"Tough luck for them, I suppose," she said, a little too cheerily.

She laughed a little at his expression. "Oh, the scandal. And the uncomfortable questions." Of course, she scarcely needed to mention that there was a whole subsection of uncomfortable questions—arguably the most significant one—that had been nicely blown to smithereens, so that was one less thing to worry about. Sort of.

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"You'd end up having to reevaluate all your current friendships," the Master said with a flourish of his hand. He paused. "Who do you talk to around here, anyway? Besides the obvious." It was something of a wonder that the place hadn't entirely developed the small town mentality yet. People didn't seem to be checking in on each other too regularly, or at least not a sizable portion of the population.

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

"Oh, any number of the new arrivals; I try to drop in whenever I can," she said. "And other people I've become friendly with. Starbuck, for one. Young Mr Echolls. And a few others." She raised an eyebrow, as much to ask and you?

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"Oh yes, I ran into Mr Echolls briefly after that lovely party," the said, and something flashed across his face, perhaps a bit too quick to properly register. "Same with the new arrivals on occasion. Sometimes it's just fun to ruffle them. Did you meet that crazy narcissist with the whip who seems to think that everyone should know her?" His eyes practically glittered on that one. "She was hilarious. And she wants to prosecute me."

It took him a moment to properly admit, "Oh, and I'm enacting a fiendish plan to take over the park with the help of the t-rex. And the Rani."

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

She was turning over to stretch out on her back when he mentioned Logan, so she didn't see his face, but something twitched at the back of her mind. Nothing she could process, though, so she merely made a bit of a wry face at that. She folded her hands behind her head. "Fräulein von Karma? Oh yes. Got a souvenir of it, even." She extended her arm for him to look at, where the welt was still visible. "I wonder how, precisely, she proposes to do that, lacking a judge or jury."

The mention of the fiendish plan got a small snort and a slow smirk. "Are you now. I'd ask what the plan was, except of course you won't tell me, and anyway that'd take all the fun out of trying to stop you, wouldn't it?" The smirk widened into a smile.

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"I asked her the very same question," he muttered, catching Una's arm and tracing the fading red line with the pad of his thumb. Well, that wouldn't do. The woman could probably count on a few nasty tricks from him if they happened to run into each other any time soon. "She said that she was very persuasive. I honestly hope that something happens to crack those perfect walls for her. She almost makes me look reasonable on my lucid days."

He smirked back. "Of course. And then you could never have the fun of spying on our "top secret" meetings."

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

"Do you suppose she uses variations on the word 'fool' every three words when she's arguing cases in court? Must be entertaining to watch, anyway." Though the mark didn't even sting anymore, there was a faint prickle at the back of her neck at the touch along her arm.

"Oh, it'd be just like old times. Espionage and plots and counter-plots. Marvellous." She grinned; again, easier to go for the joke on all this. "So had the dinosaur been a fan of yours all along?"

[hear-the-drums.livejournal.com]

"Undoubtedly," the Master guessed. "I can't even imagine a universe where she's acceptable as a human being."

He pondered over the dinosaur a while longer. "I don't think so. He seemed excited to see the both of us until he remembered we were 'bad guys'. And then I had to get into a long philosophical conversation with him to talk him out of killing us. Not a half intriguing way to spend a day. And it brought back old memories."

[una-harlequin.livejournal.com]

Una, unfortunately, could imagine just such a universe all too easily, implausible though it was. She sniggered a little, but otherwise let it lie.

"Dear me. Well, clearly your argument must have persuaded him, since he's allied himself with you. And I expect we would have all noticed a Tyrannosaurus being tossed across the park into a ... well, into the lake, I expect." Although that would have been really funny to see.