Application - Spike

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

Spike didn't have a chance to admire the scenery. All that registered with him was sunny, and that was enough. His hair and hands started smoldering immediately. He spotted a souvenir stand and dove for cover. He went over the counter headfirst but it wasn't fast enough to keep his hand from catching fire.

"Bloody hell!" he yelled. It was rather muffled, however, by him being face down in a pile of candy, brightly colored hats and little plastic toys that lit up and whirled.

Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"

"Hello? I'm ON FIRE here!" Spike yanked a giant Mickey Mouse glove off a hook and smothered the fire on his hand. He pulled himself up, shaking bits of plastic out of his black leather trenchcoat and watched as the stand mended itself. "Huh." Now safely in the shade, he straightened up and tried to gather what remained of his dignity. "Right, then. I'm Spike. What the hell is going on here?"

"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.

"My quest? To have fun and kick some ass," Spike said. "More of a mission statement, really." What on earth was going on? Must be another of Red's spells gone bad.

"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"

"What, are you offering?" Spike asked. "Get this bloody chip out of my head, for one. And a bit of revenge wouldn't hurt," he said. "Actually, get the chip out and I'll take care of the rest myself." He patted the pockets of his trenchcoat. "Though I wouldn't say no to a pack of smokes, if you've got 'em."

"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"

Spike snorted. "Bugger that."

Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"

"I'll find my own food, thanks. I'm sick of this bartering crap."

The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"

"Dark," Spike said. "Nothing with walnuts, though. I hate those."

"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"

"Vampires, obviously," Spike said. "Then... I guess I'll say ninjas. No, wait, monkeys. I like monkeys."

"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"

"Not so much carrying, no," Spike said. He shifted into gameface, ridges forming on his forehead, blue eyes changing to yellow and fangs descending. He snarled at Mickey, then shifted back to his human face. "But I do all right for myself."

((Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer here. Taken from between seasons 4 and 5. He's one of the bad guys (as he will cheerfully tell you) but he's got an electronic chip in his head that causes massive head pain if he tries to hurt a human or animal. That part he will not advertise. Yes, he mentioned the chip (not knowing that the answers were being broadcast) but he didn't say what it does. I'm sure Xander persons in the know will be happy to enlighten others, but he wants to stay scary as long as he can.))

Comments

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

It was the catching fire that caught Katou's attention, and he headed over. "On fire, huh?" he asked, looking over the guy who was hiding underneath some stand. "You don't look very on fire."

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

Spike leaned on the counter newsstand and held up his left hand to show Katou the blistered and blackened skin. "I put it out," he said, in the tone of someone saying something very obvious.

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

"I... see," said Katou, looking on the eyes. "What were you doing before you ended up here?" He paused. "Don't tell me that you were attempting to cook." Even Kira had never set himself on fire.

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"I was minding my own business," Spike said. "What the hell is this place?"

[sexyamnesiac.livejournal.com]

The name Spike caused Faye to perk up so quick that it sent a sliver of pain down her back. However, it was the accent that threw everything off and it was pretty apparent from just that.. that it wasn't the Spike she knew. She felt both relief and disappointment.

Either way, she thought she'd welcome the person with the same name as Mr. Fluffy.

Appearing on the scene, Faye softened her face with a smooth smile and said, "Hello there, Spike." She felt it necessary to accent his name, trying to get over her exasperation that it wasn't who she believed it was. "I'm Faye. Welcome to this... humble abode, if you can call it that."

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

"It's the happiest place on Earth, of course!" said Katou, plastering a big, happy grin on his face. "And minding your own business, huh? How do you do that."

Katou caught the hint. It didn't mean he was going to follow it.

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"Hello, Faye," Spike said. "So this is Disneyland, right?"

[sexyamnesiac.livejournal.com]

A smirk became visible on her face at the slight mocking tone in his greeting, "That's right. I've never been to the actual place myself, but it looks close enough to be it. The endless supply and no-dying-no-matter-what-you-do thing here pretty much beats the actual one, if you ask me."

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"It starts with you telling me where I can get a bottle of whiskey and a pack of smokes," Spike said.

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

"Smokes?" asked Katou, pulling a pack out of his back pocket. "You mean, like these?" He stuck one in his mouth, lit it, and put them back in his pocket. "No idea. As for whiskey, you're going to have to ask Mr. I'm-A-Fucking-Douchebag for that. I wouldn't hold your breath on getting it though."

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"No dying? That's a shame," Spike said. "What do you do for fun around here, then?"

[sexyamnesiac.livejournal.com]

"If you think so." Faye held a hand out as a way to gesture that she was glutted with the place; checking her nails and wishing right then and there that she had a nail filer. "I've only arrived here not too long ago, so I can't tell you off the bat. The place already bores me, though. Hopefully you find yourself comfortable here." This time she looked at him, a slight smile appearing.

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

Spike smiled back. "Well, it should be interesting here, at the least."

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," Spike said dryly. "Like those. Who's Mr. Douchebag when he's at home?"

[katoustheshit.livejournal.com]

Katou made no move to offer him any - if he wanted them he could ask, but shrugged a little when he asked who Mr. Douchebag was. "Mr. Char -" started Katou, and cut himself off. "Crowley. I suggest you harass him a lot."

[sexyamnesiac.livejournal.com]

"I agree. You'll certainly meet fairly.. interesting characters here." Faye shot a quick glance towards Mickey before her eyes returned to Spike. In the back of her mind she believed it was just a guy in a costume, but she had a feeling she was terribly wrong.

[grumpy-sunshine.livejournal.com]

Having been at something of a disadvantage when she'd arrived, herself, Sunshine heard 'I'm on fire,' here! and grabbed the kitchen first aid kit to help the new arrival. The subsequent crack about vampires hadn't amused her much, but she still approached the guy with a determined expression and the kit in hand.

"Hey." Squinting at the singed bits, "Are you all right? What happened?"

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"Bit of a sun allergy," Spike said. "Just a little singed, nothing to worry about. Hey, you got any whiskey?" he asked hopefully.

[grumpy-sunshine.livejournal.com]

She gave him a weird look. "A 'sun allergy'?"

"Sorry, my yuppie-scum bastard of a next door neighbor has a monopoly on all the decent liquor. I think a couple people make moonshine, though." She was still trying to look for damage. "I've got some burn cream in here..."

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"I'll be right off to do that then. Thanks for the suggestion," Spike said sarcastically.

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"Might help," Spike said. He held out his left hand. The skin on the back of it was blistered and blackened.

[grumpy-sunshine.livejournal.com]

"Skegging hell!" She fumbled with the kit and drew out bandages and burn cream. "That's...gods. It looks like third-degree! How are you not screaming your head off?" She squirted out some of the cream on a cotton ball. "Okay, hold still. I'll do what I can now, but as soon as they let you in, you should go see Susan in the First Station. All right?" She tried, very gingerly, an experimental dab at the exposed burn.

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I've had much worse - OW!" He winced when she dabbed at the burn. "Be careful, woman!"

[bloodandchips.livejournal.com]

"I'm getting that impression," Spike said.

[grumpy-sunshine.livejournal.com]

"Sorry! I'm so sorry! Oh gods." Another dab, almost not even touching the blackened skin.