Wow. TARDIS in Toontown. That's just fun to say.

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

((closed to John and the Doctor and probably Harvey at some point))

Out of all the things John had expected to do in his time at Disneyland, this was definitely not top of the list. But it was the most welcome as far as surprises went. He walked over to Toontown in the morning and sure enough, parked by Goofy's Bounce House, was a (matching, ha) blue police box.

The TARDIS. The real, honest-to-God TARDIS. Guess old Walt had been right, huh? When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are... He whistled the song the rest of the way to the door.

He hoped the visit wouldn't throw the Doctor off: it wasn't like this was the sort of guy who was used to getting guests on a regular basis, particularly ones who he didn't travel with. But John had to know a few things about the Doctor's newly arrived acquaintance, and no matter how awkward that could get, he was going to go through with it. Nothing was ever more important to John Crichton than keeping the people around him safe.

He knew he would have to be careful about how he worded things. Couldn't let the Doctor know that he knew about the Master because he'd seen the guy on their TV show. Had to be appropriately surprised about the inside of the TARDIS being so huge. Had to come off like that worried little Earth boy, who just happened to have good instincts about psychopaths and alien tech because he'd seen enough of those things himself.

He knocked on the right side door. "Hey, Doctor? You in there? It's John Crichton."

Comments

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

Actually, the Doctor wasn’t in there. He came strolling back to the TARDIS about twenty minutes later, hands tucked into his coat pockets, looking a bit tired and a little more rumpled than usual. He blinked in surprise at the man outside the TARDIS doors.

“Oh,” he said. “John. Hello.”

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

John pushed away from the TARDIS (he had been leaning against it - feeling that small hum through the woodwork was geekishly magical) as soon as the Doctor came into view. He waved once to say hello in return. "You look - " slightly shot at but maybe not hit " - like you could use a nap. Everything okay?"

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

“Sure fine everything’s peachy,” the Doctor responded immediately. He gave John a close-lipped smile and rocked back on his heels.

A pause.

“How’re things with you?” he added belatedly.

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

"No more interesting than usual," John said, though there was a questioning tone laced in there, the kind that asked no really, are you sure you're okay? "Just came over to make sure that you were settling in okay. Would've brought a house-warming gift, but it's not like this is really a new house for you." Maybe he should go away and come back later? How could you ever tell with the Doctor?

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

Housewarming. How wonderfully human. The Doctor gave John a bigger, brighter smile.

“Oh, well. Thanks anyway,” he said, slightly embarrassed. “D’you… wanna come in?” he gestured at the TARDIS. “We could have tea?”

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

"Tea in the TARDIS in Towntoon...." Good God. Stop it, John. He smiled. "Sounds great."

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

“Terrific tea in the TARDIS in Toon Town with a Time Lord,” the Doctor added, laughing. “Come on then.” He turned the key in the lock and stepped in.

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

Well, nevermind feeling ridiculous then. John snickered and started after his host.

Okay, so knowing that the TARDIS was bigger on the inside? really didn't prepare you for walking into it.

Bottom line was, your perception of space had just been royally screwed with. John blinked a few times, then leaned back to stick his head outside the door, regaining that normal sense of distance and geography. He went all the way inside. "Frell me sideways. Should have figured it would be something like that," he said, rubbing one eye as though it were blurring on him. "How big is this place, anyway?"

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

“Oh, big,” the Doctor said. “Really big. Enormous. I mean, it changes sometimes. Come on. Kitchen’s this way.”

It was a short walk to the kitchen; the TARDIS had actually moved it closer sometime after landing in this place –while shuffling Martha’s room back into some forgotten hallway so the Doctor wouldn’t have to walk past it all the time, as she usually did with old companions’ rooms– only two hallways down, a turn to the left, and up a short flight of stairs.

It was a comfortable, elongated oval-shaped room with warm, pleasant lighting. A generous amount of counter space with a sink stretched down the center of the room, against the right wall stood an oven, a stove, a large refrigerator and some equally spacious cabinets, and on the other side a curved table arched gracefully out of the wall, flanked by three wooden chairs with blue cushioned seats.

The Doctor took the kettle from where it sat on the stove and filled it at the sink.

“Have a seat, if you like,” he said, gesturing to the table.

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

Short walk. Yeah, real short. Then again, Moya hadn't been a tiny thing either, so John was used to those kind of walks just to reach a kitchen. It felt like coming home in some distant (maybe painful) way. This ship had touched the stars a lot more recently than he had.

Really nice kitchen, though. Much more homey than he would have expected. And more counter space too. He took a seat in one of the cushy blue chairs and kept himself busy glancing around. "Kind of surprising to see a regular sink and refrigerator," he commented. "Don't you have technology way beyond that?" Moya's refrigeration units had actually been like file cabinets fixed in the walls. The Doctor's looked like he could have purchased it at Sears.

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

“Well,” the Doctor said, “sometimes I have people traveling with me. Usually humans. Lots of ‘em from Earth. It’s nice for them to have something familiar around, you know?”

He set the kettle on the stove and turned the knob, and the very 21st century Earth stove came to life with a very un 21st century Earth humming. “‘Course, I spiffed ‘em up a bit,” he admitted with a grin, taking two white mugs out of a cabinet and setting a box of tea bags beside them. “But also, most of my companions are better cooks than I am.” A sheepish look. “So it’s in all of our best interests to give them equipment they already know how to use.”

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

"Universe knows I would've appreciated something familiar when I first got dropped off on Moya," John admitted. The first several months had been... hell, to put it lightly. "Think the only thing I recognized in the entire ship were beds."

He was appropriately excited to hear the various appliances making strange noises, and was so tempted in his science geeky brain to ask exactly what he had done and how it worked and could he see the inside.... But the Doctor's bashful face caught him. "Well, I have a feeling that culinary arts were not first on the list of things your people deemed Most Important. Humans just have that tendency to pass on family recipes and other odd and ends, I guess. Don't know if it really works that way where you're from."

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

“Mmm, I can imagine,” the Doctor murmured, taking off his coat and tossing it over a half-open cabinet door before turning back to tuck tea bags into the mugs. He went to the fridge and got out the milk, and brought it and a jar of sugar around to the table, so that when the tea was ready John could fix it how he liked.

“Well, you know how it is,” he said, although he wasn’t sure if John did or not. “Academics, the lot of us. I do love a good old-fashioned human family recipe, though. My friend Martha makes these really spectacular little cakes with carrots and raisins in them.”

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

The Doctor snorted.

“No, I don’t mind,” he said blandly. He picked up his own banana and started peeling it –anything but– absently. “The impression is entirely apt.”

“That would be the smart thing to do,” he admitted to the question, still not looking at John. “Of course, with the park being as small as it is, it’s not that easy to avoid someone for a long period or time so… well. I’m keeping an eye on him, so don’t worry.”

He got up and went to the cabinet and fetched a plates and a knife and started cutting his banana up into slices.

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this was clearly not a happy place. Big surprise. But what was catching John the most was the lack of monologuing that usually went on when the Master was brought up. In the old episodes, the scene generally went -

Companion: Who's this guy the Master?

Doctor: Oh he's a Time Lord, but twisted for Evil Purposes. Now let me explain what I mean by Evil and also add that he's going to be something of a match for me (but don't worry, I can take him), so we all better extra super careful and not getting in the way of his little shrinking gun. Are we sufficiently worried yet? Good, on with the plot.

That... wasn't happening. John wished like hell he could ask why. Because something was very wrong if the Doctor couldn't meet your eyes. "Any particular things I should know?" he asked diplomatically. "I mean, you've got some pretty amazing technology and stuff around here. So he...." No, John. Reverse tactic. "Once we were up against a Sheyang on an abandoned Peacekeeper command carrier. I found out halfway into our little adventure the thing spit fire because it just didn't occur to anyone to tell me." His eyes drifted to the bananas slices as they dropped onto the plate. "I'd kind of like to know what I'm dealing with, if there's anything else I should know."

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

The –question was very carefully worded– Doctor raised his head and looked at John, a little suspiciously.

“Well, he’s not human,” he said after a long pause. “He’s an alien. Like me.” He finished cutting the banana without moving his gaze and set the knife down. “So he has certain abilities.” –John’s been living his life on the wrong side of the Universe, of course he’d be more cautious than your average 21st century man– “Telepathy, though it's limited to physical contact. A certain talent at mind control. But, as I said, I’m keeping an eye on him. I won’t let him hurt anyone…” –the ‘else’ hung in the air rather more than he intended and– He hurried through the pause. “Oh, and he’s got a laser screwdriver. Shoots lasers.”

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

And it's that impression the Doctor gives, the one that says that the Master has already done something he shouldn't have, and John's reaction doesn't have to be forced at all this time. But there's a mention of lasers, and he knows he has to explain that first, put the Doctor as ease. "You can't kill anyone here." All right, maybe it would panic him too, but he had to know. "If you try to use lethal force, something that we refer to as Big SIS - Scary Invisible Security - picks you up and dumps you in a park fountain."

One less thing for the poor guy to worry about. And then of course," I don't think he'll really able to get to me, anyway." He tapped the side of his head. "I've got a funny failsafe. What's the guy look like, though, so I know him when I see him and I get out of his way?"

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

“Big SIS?” the Doctor echoed, eyebrows rising. “You’ve got to be joking.” –of course, there were are lots of explanations for an apparently invisible force, but the implication of a sentient power somewhere behind the scenes was more than a little bit alarming–

“Oh, he’s about five-foot-ten with short, lighter-colored hair, brown eyes, and wearing a rather nice black suit and usually a deceptively innocent smile,” he answered the second question. “What sort of failsafe?”

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

"Wish I was," John said, taking another sip of his tea. It was just warm now. "Well, I take that back. Otherwise we would have had some deaths here by now, and I can't ever imagine what that would do to the atmosphere of this place."

He recorded the description as best he could in his mind, knowing that his little guardian demon was back there too, soaking it up right along with him. "Uh... heh, funny story.... I used to have a neurochip in my brain. Someone wanted something that was in my head, and they inserted a neural clone to help with the extraction. The chip is out now, but the clone isn't, and he considers it his personal responsibility to keep me safe." He was drawing absently on the table with his finger, writing equations that no one would ever read.

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

The Doctor put a few slices of bananas in his mouth. “That’s a fair point,” he said and immediately latched on to the other –much safer– subject of John’s little neuro passenger.

“Neural bleed,” he surmised, when John explained that the chip was gone but the clone wasn’t. “The chip was in your brain long enough to be partially absorbed. How much does he follow his programming now that the chip is gone?” he asked interestedly.

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

That was more or less exactly how it had been described to John when he had noticed Harvey still taking up space. "More than I'd like," John told him in answer to the question. "I mean, he is still looking for the technology, still trying to make sure nothing destroys my head, still tries to give me advice that I don't want to take. Only real difference is that he's not as active as he used to be; he went through a period where he took over my body several times to try and make me go back to Scorpius, the guy who put him there."

And then there was the problem of.... "But, uh... well, he's gotten more vocal these days. Been taking over and talking to my friends, causing trouble. Nothing serious, but I really wish he'd cut it out before he gets it into his head to do something worse."

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

“Cabin fever, maybe?” The Doctor suggested. “Only thing more stifling than being cooped up in this place would be being stuck in the head of someone cooped up in this place.” –especially if you were an entity planted there for a purpose, and the Doctor wondered…–

“Would you mind if I took a look?” he asked.

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

Cabin fever. Yep, also exactly what John had said. "I figured as much - " and he stopped short. "Can you do that?"

[a-lonely-god.livejournal.com]

The Doctor arched an eyebrow.

“Alien with telepathic abilities,” he reiterated. “Though, as I said, I need to be in physical contact with the other person.” He dragged his chair around closer to John and settled himself comfortably, raising his hands towards the human’s face, but pausing for permission before he touched him.

[always-confuzed.livejournal.com]

Someone might think that by now, John would have no qualms about having things in his head. Plenty happened in there as it was, so what was one more consciousness, give or take?

John had lived a stranger life than most, however. It left him with the vague impression that something could (and frequently did) always go wrong.

But he really needed to believe that someone could help. He did believe it, most of the time. So he wasn't going to argue. When the Doctor raised his hands, he nodded. He'd shared unity with a Delvian priestess, surely having a Time Lord poking around would be small beans after that.