Bernard nods conspirtorially and takes a drag off his cigarette, "Good, because you'll be needing those skills. We've all been trapped here for months, years even, without respite. He's, well, don't tell anyone I said this, but he's off his nut. He likes having us here for his own amusement and it's sick. You be careful, or he'll have you talking like a pirate, singing at random whims and making out with girls you hate." This was too much fun. Far too much fun.